Dark Eye Read Online Free PDF Page B

slept okay in the hospital.”
    “They were giving you drugs. Librium. It’s a benzodiazepine. Eases the withdrawal symptoms. This is your first morning off.”
    “God.” My lips were dry and cracked. “Lisa, I think I’m going to need a little something, just so I can function. It’ll be the last-”
    “No, Susan. No booze.”
    “I don’t want the alcohol. I just need to kill this pain-”
    “No booze.”
    “It’s not like I want to get drunk. Once I get this anxiety under control, I won’t touch another-”
    “That’s exactly what they told me you’d say, Susan. The answer is no. You’ve got to ride this out.”
    “Fine.” I knew she was right, but at the same time I was cursing her under my breath, thinking what a stupid woman she was, how she didn’t understand at all. I began plotting how I could get rid of her so I could live my own life. It wasn’t as if one stupid drink was going to put me back on the skids and start me hallucinating. I could control it, and this time I would.
    Took almost an hour to get to the point where I could walk. Showering made me feel a lot better. I cleaned up, put on some jeans and a clean shirt. Used some damn bubble-gum-flavored toothpaste I found in Lisa’s medicine cabinet. Considered myself lucky I didn’t have to use a Barbie toothbrush.
    She’d already found me an apartment, not far from hers, and had my stuff moved into it. At the same time, she made it clear that I was welcome to stay with her as long as I wanted or needed. She hadn’t lived with anyone for over a year, so she had a second bedroom that did nothing but collect dust. It was a generous offer. But I couldn’t help noticing that she didn’t suggest that I move into the spare bedroom on a permanent basis. We’d tried being roommates once, when we were both in college. It was a disaster. The fact that we are still friends is a testament to the healing power of forgiveness, or perhaps the evanescence of human memory.
    “I want to see Rachel,” I told Lisa as I finished dressing.
    “I knew you would,” she replied. “You’ve got an appointment at noon.”
    “So now I need an appointment to see my own niece?”
    She didn’t say anything.
    I peered into Lisa’s big lighted makeup mirror. At thirty-four years of age, I was still subject to pimples, and sure enough, there was a big one right at the top of the bridge of my nose. Makeup or straight pin? “Well, that’ll be okay. We can get some lunch.”
    “You… aren’t permitted to take her away from her foster home.”
    “What?”
    “I’m sure they’ll change that in time, but for now, your visit will be restricted to the Shepherds’ home.”
    “Who the hell are they to tell me when and how I can see Rachel?”
    “They’re just trying-”
    “I’m her only living relative.”
    “They know that, and-”
    “They’ve got no business giving me orders.”
    I could sense that Lisa was getting irritated. “As far as NDHS is concerned, you’re the sozzled psycho who attacked a kid in a bar and then-” She paused. “They’re not going to let you take Rachel anywhere.”
    “Have they been spreading these slanderous remarks all over town? I will fight this-”
    “Susan.” I could tell she was checking herself, biting back words. “Give yourself a little time. You’re not going to put everything back together in a day. Your main focus should be on getting healthy. And staying healthy.”
    “You’re right, of course,” I said, not meaning it at all. I finished brushing my hair and adjusted the lay of my bra. Nothing worse than poorly aligned mammaries. “So what have you planned to kill time till noon?”
    “I thought we might go to the mall at the Venetian. Do a little window-shopping for purposeless trinkets we can never afford. Maybe bump into Michael Jackson. Get a coffee. Ride a gondola.”
    I shook my head. “Thanks, Lisa, but I’d go nuts. Will you take me downtown?”
    “You mean downtown as in police