Dandy Gilver and the Proper Treatment of Bloodstains Read Online Free PDF Page B

I’m about to ask you will come as less of a surprise. I’m going undercover, Grant. Do you know what that means?’ She nodded, looking thrilled.
    ‘What as?’ she breathed. ‘I can drop everything this minute and get a costume run up for you, madam. When do you need it?’
    ‘I’m starting on Monday. I’m going downstairs. I’m going to be a lady’s maid.’
    Grant’s lips twitched once, twice, then she bit her cheeks and pulled her eyebrows very firmly downwards.
    ‘And your “mistress”, madam?’ she said, with her voice under commendable control. ‘Is it her you’re investigating?’
    ‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s she who has employed me.’
    ‘Oh, well then,’ said Grant, lifting her hands high and then letting them clap down softly against her skirt again, ‘in that case you’ll be fine.’ As votes of confidence go it was a stinker but, like most other people, I always claim to value honesty and so I could not refuse such a good dollop of it when it was served up to me.
    By the time I fell into bed on Sunday evening, my head was heavy with great spilling heaps of new facts and long lists of outlandish preparations and I had a thick notebook full of daily, weekly and monthly chores.
    ‘Crêpe de chine, satin, tussore – cold. Cashmere, chiffon, mohair – cool. Silk, faille, wool – warm. Lawn, cotton, linen – hot,’ I repeated to myself. ‘I’ve got it. And down again – wring, squeeze, press, drip. And up: sprinkle iron cool, sprinkle press cool, damp iron warm, wet press hot. It’s easy!’ I turned over, ignoring the crackling sound of the cold sugar-water waves in my hair; Grant had spent much of Sunday afternoon teaching me how to make them after a brief and alarming episode with the hot irons in the morning. I punched my pillow and clicked my tongue to make Bunty come up the bed a bit and let me put my arms around her. I had never been separated from her for more than a night or two since she had arrived – tiny, fat and wriggling – all those years before and I did not look forward to driving away and leaving her behind me. She would be quite happy with Alec and Millie, his spaniel, but I had slipped a photograph of her into my bag as a comfort to me. The bag was sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor with a plump black umbrella leaning against it and an extravagantly hideous hat balanced on top. The shoes, cleaned and re-dyed by Grant with much tutting, were lined up neatly under my chair, the grey serge suit laid out over its back. My tin trunk was already downstairs by the stable-yard door ready to be lifted onto the dogcart and taken to the station in the morning. I gave Bunty a squeeze, kissed her head and closed my eyes on it all, hoping that sleep would come swift and dreamless.

3
    The train, at least the third-class part of it, was packed to the walls, every seat in every compartment taken, luggage racks bulging, corridors jammed tight and thick with pipe smoke. I had been banged on the elbow twice already by a sample case – I could not guess what its owner was selling but the case itself was painfully sturdy – and on shifting away from him had been dripped on by the melting iced lollipop of a child drowsing on its mother’s lap to my right. I tucked both elbows in tighter, hugged the plump umbrella and peered out to see where we had got to.
    ‘Today doesn’t suit me at all as it happens,’ said a woman opposite. She had been carrying on a conversation of loud complaint with her travelling companion since joining the train at Dunblane, or actually since joining the compartment at Bridge of Allan, after spending the first part of her journey standing in the passageway glaring in at two young men, silently demanding their seats. ‘Half-day closing Wednesday is my usual day for Edinburgh and this has thrown me right out for the whole week. I’d not be surprised if I got one of my sick headaches tonight.’
    ‘I did say that, Minnie,’ her friend put in mildly.