Cut Too Deep Read Online Free PDF Page B

the ketchup bottle and spun it around on the table.
    “Oh, I’m sorry,” Mac offered kindly. His hand landed on hers, stopping her from spinning the bottle.
    Hadley pulled her hand away and leaned back in the chair, her aversion to being touched worse after their kiss. She silently cursed the past that would always control her.
    “Don’t be sorry. I’m not!” Acting unaffected had long been another tactic Hadley used to mask her pain, but Mac knew her too well to be duped.
    Like a savior, the waitress arrived with their beers and a hummus appetizer Mac apparently ordered telepathically. He winked at the waitress, who slipped him a piece of paper. Mac glanced across the table, and Hadley rolled her eyes. The waitress took their order for burgers without ever looking at Hadley. She walked away, sashaying her curvy hips.
    “Wow! She’s bold.”
    Mac cocked his head to the side, grinning. “I didn’t notice.”
    Hadley flung a pita chip at her friend that bounced off the side of his head.
    “Seriously, for all she knows, I’m your girlfriend.”
    Mac laughed softly, and then his expression turned somber.
    “Did you mean what you said?”
    “That she’s bold—absolutely!”
    “Seriously,” he mocked her, “I thought we were friends now. You know exactly what I was referring to.”
    Hadley did, and her friend's hurt expression tugged on her emotions. Mac wanted to know if she truly wasn’t sorry her father died. He wouldn’t understand if she answered honestly.
    “I thought we agreed not to talk about my dad.”
    Mac preferred the sparkle that usually glimmered in her chocolate colored eyes, instead of the dull and lifeless depths that were staring at him nervously. He desperately wanted to know what happened to Hadley to make her so guarded.
    “Right…well, what about your mom?”
    “She’s dead, too,” Hadley answered quickly before she lost it and freaked out. Her lip quivered when she attempted to hold back tears.
    “I take it, you are sorry she’s gone.” Hadley nodded hesitantly and sent him a weak smile. Mac continued. “My mom’s gone, too. She had Lupus and fought like hell, but in the end, fighting wasn’t enough.”
    Hadley’s mother fought like hell, too, and it wasn’t enough, either.
    “I’m sorry.”
    Mac shrugged in that way people do when they want you to think something uncomfortable is no big deal.
    “How’d you learn to dance like that?” Being perceptive, Mac tried to change the subject. This one, however, wasn’t all that much easier for Hadley to talk about. She considered there were very few subjects that were easy for her.
    “Well, I spent my fair share of time in foster care after my parents died. Mostly dumps. But, one was with a wealthy family in Long Island. Their daughter was a dancer.”
    “So, they signed you up, too,” Mac assumed.
    “Oh, no, the parents were assholes. I was essentially nothing more than a rent-a-sister.” They both laughed. “But, their daughter Laura was a sweetheart. They had a dance studio in their home, and she taught me. I fell in love. I got a late start, but Laura said I was a natural. She’d never seen anyone pick it up as quickly.”
    “Do you still talk to her?”
    The innocent enough question sent her nerves into a tailspin. Hadley started her breathing technique again before another panic attack came on. Her mind wrestled with telling Mac the reason she and Laura no longer spoke. The truth hurt, but it also healed, and could bring Hadley closer to the woman she wanted to be—one who had friends and trusted. The truth; she’d slit her wrist in Laura’s bathroom after a troubling visit with her guardian, one in which he ruined her life and stole her remaining innocence.
    Her desire to end her life had been real, but she’d also been afraid to cut too deep and actually succeed.
    “I had a pretty crappy childhood and ended up in foster care where things only got worse. I attempted to be tough, but my inner demons battled