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what it’s like to get a private woman to open up, perhaps.”
    “I hope so. I’d like to learn that, myself.”
    “What else would you like to learn?”
    “Well, how to be with a man, I guess.”
    He gave me a strange, crooked smile. “You want me to teach you how to be a good lover?”
    “Maybe. Well, no. Not really. I just want to know all the things I should by now…what it’s like to touch a man, what everything feels like.”
    “I can only teach you what it will be like between you and I.”
    You and I. I could’ve sighed aloud at that concept, the two of us encapsulated as a couple. “Then that’s what I’d like to learn. At my own pace.”
    “At your pace,” he agreed.
    Didier’s own pace had me hypnotized—the slippery, gliding pulls that had his cock looking so hot and thick. How would I want it to be, when I touched him for the first time? Who would be above whom, or how could it be made equitable? I thought perhaps I’d like to touch him as we kissed…or did I want both our pairs of eyes on my hand, his cock? I was already trapped in the worries of what would come, wasting the magic of the present.
    “Are you enjoying this?” he asked me.
    “I am. But I’m making myself anxious, thinking about whatever’s going to happen next.”
    “Did you think when you first arrived that we’d come this far?”
    “No, I didn’t,” I said.
    “What happens will happen, exactly the way it’s meant to.”
    As I nodded, I truly believed him.
    “All you need to do is be honest with yourself and with me about what you want. You’ve done that perfectly so far.”
    “Thanks.”
    “What are you wanting?” he asked. “Right now?”
    “I think I want to touch you. But not here. Maybe on your couch.”
    He released his cock and set the soap aside. As he rinsed his magnificent body, he said, “Then we will go to the couch and find out if that is meant to be.”
    I preceded him to the living room, turning on a dim reading lamp and refilling our glasses while Didier dressed. He joined me on the couch in his pants, his shirt unbuttoned, to my great delight. He accepted his glass and took a deep drink, staring at me over the rim.
    “So,” I said.
    “So. You are pleased with how this is going?”
    “Very. You’ve made me way more comfortable than I’d guessed was possible.”
    “Good.”
    I leaned a bit closer, addressing his chest. “You’re very intuitive. What else do you think I want, tonight?”
    “I think you want to control when I come. You want to feel some control, but also feel safe. Passive.”
    “I think you’re right.”
    “You’ve seen that before, I’m sure. A man pleasuring himself? Coming?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Do you enjoy watching? Videos? Or looking at pictures?”
    I shook my head. “I’ve been curious enough to check them out, but I don’t really enjoy it for more than a minute or two. I’m never attracted to the men, and I don’t want to see the other women, in case I catch myself comparing myself to them.”
    “I think you’re possessive, maybe?”
    “I think I’m too fussy. And I think I’ve spent too much time in my own head, imagining things I’ll never be able to have, and no one in real life could ever live up to my ideas.”
    “You can have those things with me.”
    “I hope so. But once I leave…I’ll never really be able to have you, a man like you. But I want to experience it anyhow. Like a wonderful feast I’ll never be served again.”
    Didier’s face turned thoughtful and he sat up, drawing a knee to his chest and wrapping his arms around it, obscuring my view. “What do you mean, a man like me? Why can’t you have whatever you want?”
    “I’m not pretty enough,” I mumbled. “And even if I could land a man as perfect-looking as I want, I don’t think I could ever relax, I’d be so worried he’d leave me.”
    “Do you think maybe that’s not what you’re afraid of at all?”
    I did think that, sometimes, but I just