was supposed to be another guy there, and we were going to be Laurel and Hardy, but he never showed."
"I don't know who that is."
"No? The fat guy and the skinny guy? They were very funny comics, a long time ago?"
"Sorry."
"Well, I was the fat guy. Now I gotta find a new skinny guy to work with. I oughta do the act here. The old people would know who Laurel and Hardy were. It'd go over better here than at the Gold Coast Mall." Gene dipped into the chili pot and ladled some onto my Coney Island dog.
I said, "That's plenty. I'll see you later, Gene."
When I got back from break Kristin was behind the counter. She muttered, "Pinheads at ten o'clock." Pinheads is her name for skinheads.
I looked to the left and saw who she meantâtwo white guys with shaved heads. They were wearing green army fatigues and high boots. One was doing the Viking Raid experience; the other was watching him. They were both really into it. The guy
in the circle was grunting and screaming with each swat of the wand. The other guy was cracking up, laughing and carrying on with a big, green-toothed grin.
Uncle Frank stuck his head out of the back to see what was going on. He came out and stood by them, but he didn't say anything. When the time was up, Uncle Frank helped the first guy down. The green-teeth guy said to him, "Hey, did you ever hear of White Riot?"
Uncle Frank looked surprised, like he didn't think the guy could speak. He answered, "No. Is it an Arcane experience?"
The guy paused for a second, and straightened up. He answered, "Yes, sir. They got it up in Atlanta. It's awesome."
The first guy added, "Awesome, man. Ultraviolent."
Uncle Frank said, "Well, they have a lot of things in Atlanta that we don't have down here. We're a much smaller operation."
The green-teeth guy said, "You oughta get it." Then he added, "Sir."
Uncle Frank examined the helmet carefully for lice. "I oughta do a lot of things." He regarded the guy warily. "What's this White Riot about? Who do you fight in it?"
"The Mud People, sir. You eliminate as many Mud People as possible in ten minutes."
Uncle Frank thought about this. Then he asked, "Ten minutes? You mean two minutes?"
"No, sir. Ten minutes."
"For how much?"
"Sir?"
"How much do you pay? Is it twenty-five dollars for ten minutes?"
The first guy answered, "You pay for the party, man, then you're in. You do whatever you want." He turned to Green Teeth. "It's, like, forty bucks a head, right?"
"Right. Sometimes, if they got a really primo experience, a real hardcore one, it's fifty bucks. But once you pay, that's it. You can rock all night."
Uncle Frank seemed genuinely disturbed by this, the way he gets if Karl doesn't follow the opening or closing checklists. He asked, "How can they do that? They're in a mall like we are?"
"Yes, sir. They are. But the mall closes at nine, and the party doesn't start until nine-thirty."
"And what are these hardcore experiences you're talking about?"
"It's like the ones you got here, but the violence is much more primo. And let's just say, sir, it's a lot clearer who the enemy is."
Uncle Frank looked appalled. "Is that what this White Riot thing is about?"
The first guy practically shouted, "No, man! White Riot's not even hardcore. It's PG compared to some of them. Ever hear of Lynch Mob? Or Stormtrooper?"
Apparently Uncle Frank decided right then that guy's helmet needed delousing. He marched into the back with it without another word. The pinheads watched him go, then they walked up to the register. The guy who had done the experience handed his ticket to me. The other one asked Kristin, "Did you ever hear of Stormtrooper?"
Kristin regarded him coldly. "Did you ever hear of toothpaste?"
It turned into a busy Saturday night. Some goth kids came in and hung around Vampire's Feast. More pinheads came in; they stood in a noisy circle around King Kong. And, of course, the Head Louse arrived.
The Head Louse is a stocky guy, like Hawg. And he has a crew
"I don't know who that is."
"No? The fat guy and the skinny guy? They were very funny comics, a long time ago?"
"Sorry."
"Well, I was the fat guy. Now I gotta find a new skinny guy to work with. I oughta do the act here. The old people would know who Laurel and Hardy were. It'd go over better here than at the Gold Coast Mall." Gene dipped into the chili pot and ladled some onto my Coney Island dog.
I said, "That's plenty. I'll see you later, Gene."
When I got back from break Kristin was behind the counter. She muttered, "Pinheads at ten o'clock." Pinheads is her name for skinheads.
I looked to the left and saw who she meantâtwo white guys with shaved heads. They were wearing green army fatigues and high boots. One was doing the Viking Raid experience; the other was watching him. They were both really into it. The guy
in the circle was grunting and screaming with each swat of the wand. The other guy was cracking up, laughing and carrying on with a big, green-toothed grin.
Uncle Frank stuck his head out of the back to see what was going on. He came out and stood by them, but he didn't say anything. When the time was up, Uncle Frank helped the first guy down. The green-teeth guy said to him, "Hey, did you ever hear of White Riot?"
Uncle Frank looked surprised, like he didn't think the guy could speak. He answered, "No. Is it an Arcane experience?"
The guy paused for a second, and straightened up. He answered, "Yes, sir. They got it up in Atlanta. It's awesome."
The first guy added, "Awesome, man. Ultraviolent."
Uncle Frank said, "Well, they have a lot of things in Atlanta that we don't have down here. We're a much smaller operation."
The green-teeth guy said, "You oughta get it." Then he added, "Sir."
Uncle Frank examined the helmet carefully for lice. "I oughta do a lot of things." He regarded the guy warily. "What's this White Riot about? Who do you fight in it?"
"The Mud People, sir. You eliminate as many Mud People as possible in ten minutes."
Uncle Frank thought about this. Then he asked, "Ten minutes? You mean two minutes?"
"No, sir. Ten minutes."
"For how much?"
"Sir?"
"How much do you pay? Is it twenty-five dollars for ten minutes?"
The first guy answered, "You pay for the party, man, then you're in. You do whatever you want." He turned to Green Teeth. "It's, like, forty bucks a head, right?"
"Right. Sometimes, if they got a really primo experience, a real hardcore one, it's fifty bucks. But once you pay, that's it. You can rock all night."
Uncle Frank seemed genuinely disturbed by this, the way he gets if Karl doesn't follow the opening or closing checklists. He asked, "How can they do that? They're in a mall like we are?"
"Yes, sir. They are. But the mall closes at nine, and the party doesn't start until nine-thirty."
"And what are these hardcore experiences you're talking about?"
"It's like the ones you got here, but the violence is much more primo. And let's just say, sir, it's a lot clearer who the enemy is."
Uncle Frank looked appalled. "Is that what this White Riot thing is about?"
The first guy practically shouted, "No, man! White Riot's not even hardcore. It's PG compared to some of them. Ever hear of Lynch Mob? Or Stormtrooper?"
Apparently Uncle Frank decided right then that guy's helmet needed delousing. He marched into the back with it without another word. The pinheads watched him go, then they walked up to the register. The guy who had done the experience handed his ticket to me. The other one asked Kristin, "Did you ever hear of Stormtrooper?"
Kristin regarded him coldly. "Did you ever hear of toothpaste?"
It turned into a busy Saturday night. Some goth kids came in and hung around Vampire's Feast. More pinheads came in; they stood in a noisy circle around King Kong. And, of course, the Head Louse arrived.
The Head Louse is a stocky guy, like Hawg. And he has a crew
Similar Books
Toygasm
Jan Springer
This Broken Wondrous World
Jon Skovron
The Long Midnight Of Barney Thomson
Douglas Lindsay
Castle Dreams
John Dechancie
No Way Down, Life and Death On K2 (2010)
Graham Bowley
The Pajama Affair
Vanessa Gray Bartal
When a Lady Deceives (Her Majesty’s Most Secret Service)
Tara Kingston
Harbor Nocturne
Joseph Wambaugh
Waters Fall
Becky Doughty