Cruiser Read Online Free PDF

more? Rey holds back because I’m his first girlfriend and he’s very hesitant about major touching. Would Cruiser trail his fingers up my shirt? Would he fling me down on the couch, yank at my hair, kiss me deeper?
    I blink a few times and my stomach swirls when I realize what’s actually going on in my mind. How could I even think this? I love Rey. I want to be with him, want to spend all my time with him. Why’s Cruiser invading my thoughts—my heart? I haven’t stopped thinking about him since he arrived from New York. I stay up all night and see him before me. His sincere, dark brown eyes, his wild, wavy hair. The soft, gentle hands that held mine a year ago and filled me with hope and promises.
    I pull away from Rey.
    “What’s wrong?” he asks.
    Tears fill my eyes. I wish Cruiser would return to his grandparents.
    “Are you okay?” Rey cups my cheek.
    I swallow the tears and the guilt, and force a smile. “Yeah, thanks.”
    He returns the smile. “Okay. Want to focus on the movie?”
    Sometimes he looks so similar to Cruiser. If the twins would dress the same and if Cruiser would chop off all his hair and lose his six pack, they could look almost identical. And the way Rey’s smirking, it looks just like one of Cruiser’s cocky grins.
    I shove those thoughts away and promise myself to ignore all Cruiser-related thoughts. Let him live his life with all his girls, and I’ll live mine with Rey, who’s the right guy for me. “I’ll make popcorn,” I say.

Chapter Seven
    Cruiser
     
    Her bedroom light in the distance catches my eyes. Stands out like a lone star in the night sky. I ease my bike to a stop in front my house. Pull off my helmet and look up at her room.
    I wish I was with her tonight. When Erica’s silky hair pooled over my chest a little while ago, I didn’t see her almond-shaped eyes, but the familiar blue ones of the girl next door. I ’ve always loved those eyes. Too big for her face, but all the same. She’s Lex.
    I push out the kickstand and half-sit on my bike. As my index finger twisted around a strand of Erica’s luscious hair, I imagined Lex lying near me, her hand nestled on my chest, her soft chin resting on my right shoulder. “I love you, Cruiser,” she murmured before drifting off to sleep. I tucked some hair behind her ear and stared at her while she slept.
    The fantasy is too good to ever come true. I wonder what it would feel like to actually be with a girl I care about. A girl who cares about me. Tonight with Erica was fun, unforgettable , and it beat my old time favorite, Christie. But I always get this feeling after I ride away from the girl’s house. Used. Empty. A tool.
    I stopped sleeping around after living in New York for a while. Spent time with Gramps and Gran. Built things, baked things. They’re obsessed with baking contests, although they suck. Didn’t matter, though. They understood me. Accepted me. Never compared me to Rey like my parents do. Made me feel good about myself. I realized I should head home and patch things up with the parents and keep my close bond with Rey.
    But the real reason was for Lex. I never stopped thinking about her. For some idiotic reason, it never occurred to me that she’d be with someone. Guess I thought she couldn’t stand being with anyone other than me, just like I couldn’t stand being with anyone other than her. Then I came home and saw her with Rey. He didn’t know Lex and I were together last year. I felt the stab of betrayal. Don’t know why I thought she’d miss me. Want me. Wait for me. She doesn’t give a crap about me. Tossed me aside and went after Rey.
    It fucking hurt. I called Christie that night.
    A head peeks out from the window. Stares down at me. For a second it feels like everything around us disappears, and it’s only Lex and me. But she reaches for her curtain and pulls it across the window.
    “Hey, Cruise!” Rey’s head sticks out of our guestroom window. “What’re you doing down