Crosscut Read Online Free PDF

toward the Sierras. Far in the distance, the lights of Lone Pine clung to the flat. The silence was complete. I got out and walked around to Jesse’s side.
    He opened his door. “Give me a hand? I left my hiking gear at home.”
    He could walk a bit, but hadn’t brought his crutches. I faced him, and when he stood up in the doorway we locked forearms. Even bracing him, I savored the moment; I loved having him tall. He still had the lithe swimmer’s frame that had brought him a couple of national titles and a spot on the U.S. world championship team. He made it the two feet to the back of the car and pulled himself up to sit on the trunk.
    The sky was spread with white fire. The dark wall of the Sierras soared above us. I leaned back against him.
    “Dad brought me out here the day after I punched Valerie in the nose.”
    I’d thought my life was ruined. I was suspended from school and my parents had grounded me. All I wanted to do was cringe in my room with the covers over my head. Instead, my father ordered me into the car, drove me up to this empty rise, and taught me how to shoot a gun.
    Dad was a lean man with an Oklahoma drawl and cropped hair gone the color of ice, and he talked while he set up a row of tin cans and loaded Grandpa’s old shotgun.
    “There’s anger, and then there’s defending yourself. Yesterday was about anger, which is why you’re suffering consequences.”
    He showed me how to nestle the stock against my shoulder and to sight the target down the barrel.
    “But don’t ever kowtow to bullies. I’m proud that you stood up for yourself. You just went about it the wrong way. Both eyes open, Kit. And watch out for the kick.”
    I aimed at the cans and fired. The sound rattled through my skull. We looked.
    “You killed that cactus. Dead.” He took the shotgun and reloaded. “When you go back to school, don’t be ashamed. Take your licks and move on.”
    “Can’t I just be invisible? I’d settle for that.”
    He stopped loading shells. “Never settle. Not you, Kit. Not ever.”
    Now I stared across the night. Jesse wrapped his arms around my waist.
    “What happened?” he said.
    “Everything turned around. When my suspension was up I went back to school and nobody messed with me.” I laughed weakly. “Except for Valerie. But I knew I could stand up to her, and I had friends who stood with me. I didn’t settle for staying out of her way.”
    “ Settle isn’t a word I connect with you. Surrender, give up —none of those words either.”
    I wrapped my hands around his. Behind us the moon rose, shimmering and huge. Its light ghosted down the slope across the valley and hit the granite wall of the mountains. On the summits, snowcaps luminesced.
    His voice went quiet. “I know it’s a blow, seeing how many of your classmates have died.”
    “Chance makes me angry.”
    “Nothing can grant you certainty. But I’ll fight to make sure your life never becomes a compromise.”
    It was more than reassurance. It was a promise and a dare. And it was closer to a proposal than I was ready to hear. I turned around and laid my hands across his shoulders. His eyes were deep blue in the moonlight.
    I gave him a nonanswer. I pressed my mouth to his and gave him a kiss.

3
    Ceci Lezak loaded posters and the Hound Heaven display into her CR-V. It was hot and the wind was blowing. She was beyond tired. Beyond pissed off. Her nylons had run, and she wasn’t nearly drunk enough. Abbie Hankins had clung to Wally all night like a limpet. He hadn’t even complimented Ceci’s dress, and now the idiotic sequins had chafed her underarms.
    And on top of it all, she’d had to do twice the work at the party, thanks to Kelly Colfax.
    The wind blew sand across her face. This shitty little town.
    She was supposed to get out of here. For Christ’s sake, she’d been student council president. She wasn’t supposed to spend fifteen years scraping dried food off people’s teeth, feeling her life become as arid