Crazy in Love Read Online Free PDF Page B

spoken to each other, but we communicate through our lawyers. I’ve already been told that I probably won’t go to jail, but I’ll go on probation and lose custody of my children. Celeste says she doesn’t want me to go to jail. She’s being very big about this. She’s lying in a hospital bed at this very moment. They’re letting her out tomorrow.” Mona looked out the window as she spoke. Her voice lilted slightly, betraying no emotional connection to the words.
    “Did you know her well?”
    “Very well. We met at the nursery school. The mothers take turns volunteering, and she and I usually had the same day. Her husband is a doctor too. A dermatologist. Dick’s an eye surgeon.”
    “And the couples became friendly.”
    “That’s right. We took ski trips together.” She looked at me for the first time. “I don’t want to talk about the romance.”
    “All right.”
    “I’ll just say that I knew but I didn’t know. In other words, I now realize that subconsciously I knew something was going on, but I refused to recognize it. Then someone told me about it—my mother, in fact—and I went crazy.”
    “Your mother told you your husband was having an affair?”
    “Yes. Isn’t that unbelievable? I feel ashamed that she knows anything about it. She saw them . . . kissing . . . outside a restaurant. She told me, then everything became clear. Everything I had known but not known. Dick had just left town for a conference, so I couldn’t confront him. I went crazy and headed to Celeste’s. I’m a great believer in the subconscious. I think I chose a butter knife because I didn’t really want to kill her. This is the most ridiculous thing to be talking about. I hardly believe I did it—I know I did, but I still can’t believe it. I’m not the type to stab someone.”
    “Are you pregnant?”
    She looked away again. “I don’t want to talk about that,” she said.
    I had the feeling she wasn’t being totally sincere, that she was using me a little. I could hardly blame her. She would benefit from sympathetic news stories.
    “Excuse me, Mrs. Tuchman,” I said. “I should tell you that my account of your story will probably not be published.”
    “Really? I didn’t know that.” She sounded upset.
    “Did your lawyer tell you to give interviews?”
    “Yes, but hardly anyone seems interested. Last week they were, but I wasn’t ready. Too much time has passed or something, and they’re on to a new story.” Her voice shook and tears glazed her eyes. “He thought I’d stand a better chance if the public liked me. He said if they identified with me instead of Celeste, I’d get off easy and maybe get to keep my kids. Oh, God, that’s the worst part,” she said, really sobbing now. “What are they going to think of me?”
    “They’ll understand,” I said calmly. “They’ll understand that you wanted to keep the family together.”
    “That’s it,” she said, sounding bewildered.
    “Tell me about that,” I said.
    “It’s so simple. I love Dick. We have a wonderful family—two girls and a boy. I’m his wife, he’s their father, they’re our kids, we’re parents, they’re sisters and a brother. We’re a family. That’s exactly it,” she said, as if the thought had occurred to her for the first time. “We belong together.”
    “That’s what I figured the moment I read that article about you.”
    “What makes you so interested in my story?” Mona asked me, frowning, cleaning her glasses with the hem of her dress.
    “Because I think I understand exactly how you felt,” I said.
    “No one has said that to me. I realize that most people wouldn’t actually have done it, but I thought they might understand how I felt. My neighbor shuddered when she saw me. Even the people who really know us, know how close Dick and I are, can’t understand how it happened. I haven’t seen my kids yet, but I’ve seen Dick. He looks like he’s in shock. He says there’s been a problem between us