Craving the Rake's Touch (Rakes of the Caribbean) Read Online Free PDF

Maybe the door wouldn’t hold back the sound, after all.
    “Me, kissing you? What about you kissing me ? Or am I mistaking the tongue in my mouth for someone else’s?”
    “Let me finish.” Sarah moved across the tiny room, putting distance and a chair between them. “That was for kissing me three years ago, for making me believe in your promises, but mostly for making me believe in you. Fool me once, Benedict DeBreed, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That’s how it goes, doesn’t it?”
    Even in the dim light of the room, Benedict could see the anger in her cheeks. She might have slapped him but she was angry with herself as well, angry for liking it, for liking him when she didn’t want to. Well, for the record, he didn’t want to like her, either, but he did. He loved her. Beyond reason, but that was his secret. He loved her enough to have stayed away this long. Only his friendship with Ren and his promise to her father had compelled him to keep that vow as long as he had. He’d broken the vow only because the situation demanded it.
    “We were young...” Benedict began, promising himself he wouldn’t beg, but neither would he put up with this belief that what they’d done had been a mistake. His pride wouldn’t allow it. No woman thought being with him was a mistake. “It wasn’t wrong, only foolish.” Perhaps if they could forgive themselves for the indiscretion they could move past it. They’d never discussed it, there’d never been time, and afterward there’d never been a chance. Her father had seen to that. Even now, Benedict didn’t feel there was anything to forgive. There was nothing he needed absolution for. He’d never felt it had been wrong to be with her, it was only wrong how things had worked out.
    “Do not try to justify it!” Sarah’s hands gripped the edge of the chair, her fingers digging into the upholstery with the intensity they’d used to oh-so-recently dig into his hair. He had reveled in her touch, the feel of her against his body. “I need you to exercise some restraint. You cannot come dashing in here and wreak havoc with my house party at a time when I need everything to go right. Do you have any idea how serious the situation is? How much I need you to behave?”
    Benedict’s temper ratcheted upward. He was going to explode. Restraint? She wanted to talk about restraint when he’d been exercising it for three long years? For three years he’d harbored the truth of what really happened. He’d kept his promise. He’d spoken to her father. He’d been refused. Worse, he’d not been allowed to speak of it to her or to Ren. Sarah loved her father and her father doted on his children. It would have broken Sarah’s heart to know her father had disapproved.
    When her father had asked he say nothing about the interview, Benedict had agreed. He’d loved Sarah too much to do otherwise. He did not want to make her choose between the men she loved. How dare she stand there and accuse him of callous disregard? But he knew how she dared. She knew no better and now her father was dead. To tell her would risk tarnishing her memory of him and Benedict would not speak ill of the dead even if he considered his promise fulfilled.
    Instead, he adopted his usual air of nonchalance, the air that said nothing bothered him. “Would you believe me if I told you I was sorry? That I wanted a second chance?” It was the truth even if it was a significantly watered-down version and delivered with slightly less sincerity than it might have been.
    “I think you’d be penitent if you thought it would get you what you wanted,” Sarah replied, but there was no heat behind it. The anger had gone out of her, replaced perhaps by sadness, or memories of a happier time. She understood, as he did, that they sparred to keep true feelings at bay. The line between love and loathing had never been quite so thin as it was between them.
    Benedict nodded. “I would, Sarah.” He held her gaze