Dizzy and a little sick to my stomach, all I could think about was Tyler.
Come home. Come home, come home, come home!
The words ran a crazy loop in my mind, screaming a wish that wouldn’t come true. My pulse quickened with my anxiety, and I felt the urge to jump up out of my chair and run as fast as I could, leave my corporeal form behind and flee from the pain that threatened to drown me. I swung my legs down off Xander’s desk, prepared to do just that when the king reached out and seized me by the wrist, his grip an iron manacle demanding I stay.
“Don’t do this, Darian.” The command was firm, but his velvet voice was warm, reassuring. “No more running. No hiding. You’re better than that. Take this hurt you feel and let it make you better. Don’t allow it to master you.”
I swallowed down the lump rising in my throat, commanded the tears to retreat before they threatened to flow. Whether I was ready to acknowledge it or not, I knew deep down that Xander was right. I couldn’t keep running. I couldn’t hide in my apartment and let my ragged emotions take me to an even darker place than I was already.
Xander loosened his grip, but he kept his hand right where it was. His thumb swirled in a circular pattern on my wrist, an intricate weaving of sensation that relaxed me. “Darian, I think you should move in for a while. You should be close to Raif, and you’ll need to be here for Anya as well.”
“Okay.” My KOf, traitorous mouth let the word slip lazily from between my lips before my brain could adequately think over an answer. I didn’t want to go back to my apartment, to my bed, haunted by memories of Tyler. He promised me he’d come back. But when? He hadn’t called or sent so much as a text message to let me know where he was. To assure me that he was okay.
Paybacks are a bitch, aren’t they, Darian?
Xander tightened his grip, once again bringing me back to the present. My mind had been wandering all over the place, and he’d seen me drowning and threw out the life preserver. I pulled my hand away and he didn’t fight me, but his touch lingered. Rubbing my wrist, I tried to banish the sensation, the comfort of feeling someone else’s skin on mine.
“I’m going to go find Raif,” I said, turning on a heel. “We’ve got details to work out and I’d rather just get straight to work.”
“Darian,” Xander called out from behind his desk and I stopped midway through the door, not bothering to turn and face him. “I never would have left. Only a fool could walk away from you.”
Goddamn it
. I was in for a shitload of trouble.
Chapter 4
I found Raif in Xander’s solarium, of all places. It struck me as odd to see him so relaxed, bathed in sunlight while he ate lunch. My stomach growled, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten a proper meal in some time. I’d been more or less eating only to survive. I would’ve eaten cardboard and been satisfied with it. But the chicken piccata artfully arranged next to a pile of penne pasta and Caesar salad looked too damn good to my emerging appetite.
“The kitchen is sending up a plate for you,” Raif said. “I figured you’d be hungry.”
“You’re a traitor, you know that?” I asked, taking a seat across from him. “You ratted me out to your brother and sent him to my apartment.”
“I did,” he agreed. “And I won’t apologize for it, either. You were living like some sort of shut-in. Someone needed to intervene, and you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“But you figured I’d listen to Xander?”
Raif stared me down. “You’re here, aren’t you?”
Damn
. He had me there. “I’m sorry,” I said. “For making you worry. Again.” Apologizing was about as pleasant as swallowing tacks, but Raif deserved it. No matter how much I hated to admit it, Xander was right. I’d been selfish.
“Well,” Raif said, clearly as uncomfortable as I was, “let’s just eat and call it good. I take it Xander filled you in on your