Coup De Grâce Read Online Free PDF

lifetimes. I don’t think I could survive it a second time,” I whispered hoarsely. “Promise me.”
    He made a sound in his throat that hurt my heart, but I didn’t relent.
    I watched him and waited for him to promise me, and promise me he did.
    “I swear on my life that I will never intentionally hurt you again. I promise.”

Chapter 5
    Life’s a bitch. Oh, no. Wait, that’s you. My mistake.
    -Secret thoughts of Nikki Pena.
    Michael
    “This is my favorite place in the world,” I admitted softly as I pulled my truck up into the front row parking spot of Peek’s Tattoo Parlor.
    “It’s a tattoo parlor,” she said in surprise.
    I tossed her a grin as I opened the door to my truck and dropped out.
    I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking.
    All I know was that this day had been complete shit, and I’d had to do a lot of thinking. Something I’d been avoiding doing for quite a long time now.
    Nearly a year and a half to be exact.
    From the moment that I let Nikki misunderstand why I didn’t want kids, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. But, at the time, I thought I’d been doing a good thing.
    She would have a terrible life if she stayed with me, and there was no one on earth that I’d want to have to deal with my shit.
    But then I’d held that boy, while he’d drained his lifeblood on my chest, and I knew that I couldn’t deny it anymore.
    I loved her. And I’d do anything to have her. Even have a child with her if that was what it took.
    I was tired of being lonely.
    And when I walked in on her reading to the baby, I knew I’d make her mine again.
    No matter what it took.
    It all started with letting her into my world. Letting her see me. And that started here.
    “So, I guess I need to start by telling you why I do the tattoos,” I started, swallowing convulsively before I flayed myself open. “When I was twelve, I started cutting myself.”
    She gasped in surprise and whipped around to stare at me.
    I put the tailgate of my truck down, and hopped up, holding out my hand to her.
    She took it, no reluctance whatsoever, and that bolstered me to say what I had to say next.
    She came in between my legs and leaned into me, looking up at me with her heart in her eyes.
    I leaned my head against hers for a long moment before pulling back and looking up at the stars.
    “That was the first time my parents realized something was wrong with me. I didn’t try to kill myself, per se, I just knew that something was wrong, and pain made it feel better,” I explained, not looking down into her eyes. “That was when I was diagnosed with depression. Three weeks after that, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Bi polar two, to be exact. By the time I was fourteen, I was diagnosed with ADD. Right now I’m on medication for my bi-polar disorder and ADD since they believe that those are the two causing most of my problems.”
    When I finally got the courage to look down at her, it wasn’t horror that I saw, but understanding.
    So I felt like I should continue.
    “Surprisingly, none of that affected my schooling. The manic side of my bi-polar disorder kept me from falling behind with the other things affecting me. I always strove to be the best. The depression kicked in when I wasn’t the best,” I explained.
    “My youngest sister is bi-polar,” she said, surprising the fuck out of me enough to look down at her again.
    And the understanding in her eyes about killed me once again.
    “When I turned eighteen, I got a job in a tattoo shop to help fund my schooling. My parents paid for nearly all of it, I only had to cover the books,” I explained. “That’s when I found that the pain of the needle fed that need for pain in less destructive ways, and I haven’t looked back since.”
    “Schooling? I thought you were in the Navy,” she said.
    I curled a sliver of her hair that’d fallen free of her bun behind her ear, cupping her neck once I did.
    “I went to school for my medical degree when I was