Convenience and Compatibility Read Online Free PDF

again, but I’m confused.
He’s just began his recovery, does he really want to date at this
point? Maybe he doesn’t want to see me again, and that is why John
was smiling when I got out of the car. Maybe I was a joke to them.
I smack myself in the forehead, feeling like an idiot. Just go to
bed and don’t think of him, I try to tell myself. Needless to say,
it’s a long night.
     
    I wake up late in the morning,
thinking of Dean. I have a mild hangover and sleepily make some tea
and sit on the couch with my laptop. I check my phone, making sure
it is on, just in case Dean calls. I realize that I’m going to be
obsessed with thoughts of him all day and probably indefinitely. I
need to keep myself busy.
    Tara and Adam emerge from the bedroom kissing
and caressing. It’s so cute how in love they are. I smile at them
as Tara kisses Adam goodbye and joins me on the couch.
    “Did Greg sleep over?”
    “Not tonight,” I look down at my laptop,
hoping she won’t ask anymore questions.
    “Are you guys okay?”
    “We’re good, just taking a break.”
    “Do you want to talk about it Mallory?” I can
sense utter concern in her voice. I really do love Tara, even with
her faults.
    “Not right now Tara. Is that okay?”
    “Of course. Now, what can I make you for
breakfast?”
    Tara makes crepes while I whip up the filling
and topping. When the boyfriends aren’t around it feels like old
times when we were in college. It’s sad and nostalgic; I know
she’ll marry Adam someday and these rare moments will be over
forever.
    “If you’re not busy today,” I start, but
hesitate because I know she probably has plans with Adam. “Do you
want to go shopping downtown?” I don’t mention that I want to
distract myself with busy activities all day.
    “I’m sorry Mallory, I have plans with Adam.
I’ll probably stay at his house tonight too.”
    My heart sinks, but I put on a brave front.
“Oh, well that’s okay. Let’s eat!”
    During breakfast I try to pretend I’m
listening to Tara. She rambles on about her day with Adam and his
family. She takes a break in her monologue to look at her phone
when it pings, I assume a text from Adam. She looks at it for
awhile, scrolling down, reading furtively. I can’t take it any
longer.
    “What is it?” Tara doesn’t answer. “Tara? Is
everything okay?”
    She glances up at me. “Um, yes. It’s just
Adam, I need to get over there soon.”
    I can tell she is not telling me everything,
but pretend like nothing is wrong and don’t ask about my
suspicions. “Okay.”
    Tara takes off and I’m left to my thoughts,
all alone, for the rest of the day.
    Even though Dean doesn’t have my number, I
continue to check my phone throughout the day. Maybe he has super
powers or unexplainable means to acquire my number. I tell myself
that I’m being ridiculous, but that doesn’t stop me from checking
every hour. Bedtime comes and I’m depressed. I have a shift in the
morning and I know it’s going to be hard to get to sleep. He didn’t
call.
     
    I hit the snooze button a few times
before I finally get up. Arghh, only four hours of sleep. It’s
going to be a tough day. I make it to work barely awake until shift
report. My patient load is a nightmare, practically running between
patients. I stop and pee only once throughout the day – sometimes I
really hate my job. After I clock out I walk into the bathroom and
check my face and hair. What if Dean is waiting for me again
outside? My face looks like I’ve aged five years; bags under my
eyes, make up smudged, lips chapped. I make myself as presentable
as possible and walk out into the cold air. Thank God this day is
almost over. I walk slowly on the sidewalk, the same way I went
when Dean found me. I cross the street and look to the spot where
we met. Nothing. I sigh and continue on my way home, no call
today.
    The week goes by in a blur; I don’t see much
of Tara and am distracted enough from work to barely think of Dean.
I even