Consider Her Ways Read Online Free PDF

Donald when they brought him in one evening with a broken leg – and all that followed …
    I could remember now the face that I ought to see in a looking-glass – and it was certainly nothing like that I had seen in the corridor outside – it should be more oval, with a complexion looking faintly sun-tanned; with a smaller, neater mouth; surrounded by chestnut hair that curled naturally; with brown eyes rather wide apart and perhaps a little grave as a rule.
    I knew, too, how the rest of me should look – slender, long-legged, with small, firm breasts – a nice body, but one that I had simply taken for granted until Donald gave me pride in it by loving it …
    I looked down at the repulsive mound of pink satin, and shuddered. A sense of outrage came welling up. I longed for Donald to comfort and pet me and love me and tell me it would be all right; that I wasn’t as I was seeing myself at all, and that it
really was
a dream. At the same time I was stricken with horror at the thought that he should ever see me gross and obese like this. And then I remembered that Donald would never see me again at all – never any more – and I was wretched and miserable, and the tears trickled down my cheeks again.
    The five others just went on looking at me, wide-eyed and wondering. Half an hour passed, still in silence, then the door opened to admit a whole troop of the little women, all in white suits. I saw Hazel look at me, and then at the leader. She seemed about to speak, and then to change her mind. The little women split up, two to a couch. Standing one on each other, they stripped away the coverlet, rolled up their sleeves, and set to work at massage.
    At
first it was not unpleasant, and quite soothing. One lay back and relaxed. Presently, however, I liked it less: soon I found it offensive.
    ‘Stop that!’ I told the one on the right, sharply.
    She paused, smiled at me amiably, though a trifle uncertainly, and then continued.
    ‘I said stop it,’ I told her, pushing her away.
    Her eyes met mine. They were troubled and hurt, although a professional smile still curved her mouth.
    ‘I mean it,’ I added, curtly.
    She continued to hesitate, and glanced across at her partner on the further side of the bed.
    ‘You, too,’ I told the other. ‘That’ll do.’
    She did not even pause in her rhythm. The one on the right plucked a decision and returned. She re-started just what I had stopped. I reached out and pushed her, harder this time. There must have been a lot more muscle in that bolster of an arm than one would have supposed. The shove carried her half across the room, and she tripped and fell.
    All movement in the room suddenly ceased. Everybody stared, first at her, and then at me. The pause was brief. They all set to work again. I pushed away the girl on the left, too, though more gently. The other one picked herself up. She was crying and she looked frightened, but she set her jaw doggedly and started to come back.
    ‘You keep away from me, you little horrors,’ I told them threateningly.
    That checked them. They stood off, and looked miserably at one another. The one with the badge of seniority fussed up.
    ‘What’s the trouble, Mother Orchis?’ she inquired.
    I told her. She looked puzzled.
    ‘But that’s quite right,’ she expostulated.
    ‘Not for me. I don’t like it, and I won’t have it,’ I replied.
    She stood awkwardly, at a loss.
    Hazel’s voice came from the other side of the room:
    ‘Orchis
is off her head. She’s been telling us the most disgusting things. She’s quite mad.’
    The little woman turned to regard her, and then looked inquiringly at one of the others. When the girl confirmed with a nod and an expression of distaste she turned back to me, giving me a searching inspection.
    ‘You two go and report,’ she told my discomfited masseuses.
    They were both crying now, and they went wretchedly down the room together. The one in charge gave me another long thoughtful look, and