Confessions of a Hostie 3 Read Online Free PDF

themselves
more important than the other passengers and MUST have their tray
removed immediately after use: Place it on the floor under YOUR OWN
feet, then turn on your laptop or do whatever you need to do on
your tray table. When the crew come collecting, simply pick up the
dirty tray and pass it your flight attendant.
    It's that easy.
     
    I have some revelations for those who think
airline service is slow: I don't know one flight attendant in the
history of aviation who has deliberately given slow service. It is
the opposite. We go as fast as we possibly can, given the tools,
the preparation, the safety, the resources, and the procedures we
have to work with.
    The airline times the service events before
they are ever implemented. This is done in a virtual world; a world
based on theory. In their laboratory-conditions there are no
screaming babies, no passengers complaining about their seats, no
hosties being tugged on their dresses every twelve paces to be
asked for drinks, no adjusting air-vents, no fixing inflight
entertainment systems, no replacing broken headsets, no turning on
reading lights, and no demands for newspapers, magazines, extra
blankets, pillows, headache tablets, and a partridge in a pear
tree.
    The questions passengers ask are often fired
from a question-asking machine-gun at deadly speed.
    Habitually it is the most inane questions
which are asked at the most inappropriate times.
    'Excuse me Miss, can I get another arrival
(immigration) card?' is usually asked when the seatbelt sign has
been turned on with me walking back to my seat for landing.
    I feel like saying 'Oh, I'm sorry; didn't we
hand you an immigration card, what 12 hours ago, and although you
have had half a day to fill it out, you do it now - and stuff it up
- right when we are about to land?'
    By the way, from my understanding about
immigration and customs forms, they are not the responsibility of
airlines. They are a country-to-country requirement legislating an
agreement between the visitor or citizen and that country. Airlines
hand out documents and assist with tips on how to fill them out as
a nicety, not a legal requirement.
    On several occasions I have been abused by
passengers because we had run out of immigration forms onboard.
This was because customs officials in the departure port, not our
airline, did not have enough forms at the time to give us. In one
instance a passenger had made a mistake with their paperwork and,
true to form, asked for another just before landing. When I said we
had no more (which we didn't) the passenger became abusive. In
times like that I would love to have a printed card I could hand to
the passenger. It would read: Now listen here...

 
for some, knowledge comes
and goes, but wisdom lasts forever
    Today's flight to Singapore is going so
smoothly. I've chatted with a number of passengers. So much of our
time is normally taken up with problems. Sometimes they are genuine
problems; sometimes the problems lie fairly and squarely with the
passengers. The most annoyed I ever get on the aircraft is when
passengers become so self-centered that their actions affect other
people.
    Am I judgmental?
    'No way; I'm only judgmental to those who
deserve it.'
    I say this statement with my tongue firmly
implanted in my cheek. Like most jokes, there is often an element
of truth behind the laughter. I am
judgmental . Experience has armed me with the tools to
identify those I like, those I don't, and those to be wary of. We
can't like everyone, however part of my job is to try to mask any
ill-feelings. Acting skills are a key component of the hospitality
industry. I'd like to think I can identify passengers with genuine
problems and deficiencies. I would never knowingly ridicule someone
who cannot help who they are or what they are doing. Those who have
a choice, and choose to be disrespectful to others, well then, in
my eyes it's open season.
    If a passenger pops sleeping pills to wash
them down with alcohol with the