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you want my help.”
    I’m not sure if I had been in his position, I’d have given someone like me the time of day after the superiority complex I displayed the night before. Already, in just twenty-four hours, he’s demonstrated that if there’s one of us who is better than the other, I come up short. He works three jobs and is a PhD student, a reality to me that seems impossible. Regardless, there’s no doubt that my presentation skills could use a little work.
    “Yes, I’d like that,” I say, causing his face to break into fireworks. “Thanks so much. Should I meet you tonight or …”
    “Let’s start tomorrow,” he says. “I think you had enough of my input for one day.”

    Suddenly, everything destined for the waste bin in my office gets the once over. It’s not like I think Hawk goes through it every night and catalogs his findings. Except, it sounded like he might. This idiosyncrasy actually comes as a relief. No one should be that dreamy hot, hardworking, intelligent, and generous without having some serious flaw that keeps the universe in balance. Between ransacking rubbish and, say, being a serial killer, I’ll take garbage all the way.
    Yet, I find myself scanning my memory, wondering if I’ve thrown out anything that I’d have been embarrassed if he brought up. I can’t think of anything, however. Instead, I wonder what my empty honey-and-yogurt container will tell him about me tonight. Then I wonder why I care at all what he thinks about me.
    A little voice inside reminds me that he didn’t even ask me out. Even if he had, what harm could come from one innocent date? It’s a double-edged sword, however, being involved with someone in the same department. I’d already walked down that road once. As I recall, I didn’t like the view. Having to leave Manderson would put a shadow of shame on the rest of my life.
    “So, how did it go?”
    Prof. Ferris’s head snakes around the edge of my office door shortly after lunch and I’m transported back to the here and now. I focus in on her right hand as she enters the room, and for the first time, note the absence of any golden band.
    “A little bumpy start, but I think it pulled together okay at the end,” I say. “Thanks for asking.”
    “No problem. I know you’ve never done anything like this before, so I made sure I put you in friendly territory.”
    I can’t help my eye roll, but I keep my tone light. “Maybe not as friendly as you think.”
    “Ah, yes, the adult Outreach students.” She crosses a line of formality and her arms over her chest. “True, they can be a potpourri crowd, but everything in teaching is like everything else in the world: it’s all relative. Just wait until you get a classroom of seventh graders. You’ll look back on the Outreach class as your own personal Eden. But what I meant was putting you in Hawk Stephens’s classroom.”
    I find myself sitting on the edge of my chair and trying not to squirm like a child begging for a fireside story. “You know Hawk?”
    “Of course, I know Hawk!” The exuberance on her face almost makes me feel mocked, like he’s someone I should have learned about in orientation. “He’s one of our brightest and most promising students.” She swallows her words and diverts in a way that doesn’t fail to get my attention. “Anyway, I knew he’d be sure you weren’t eaten alive, so I set up your first placement with his course. He made sure you got through it okay, right?”
    I smile, but there’s now an unchecked box on my to-do list. First Hawk was surprised I didn’t know his name, then Prof. Ferris acts like it would be ridiculous if she didn’t. Why? What’s so infamous about the night janitor slash outreach teacher slash tutor slash PhD student? I know I won’t be able to satisfy my query now, however, so I put it to the back of my mind.
    “Yes, ma’am. I came away totally uneaten.”

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    When I get to the shipping-receiving room the next