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comedy!”
    I died. Stand-up comedy! Terror shot through my veins. Of course comedy was my dream, but performing for Snoopy and Curious George is a lot different from performing for real classmates. Stuffed animals sit obediently with frozen smiles; classmates throw spitballs.
    I turned to my former best friend, who was hiding behind King Lear . The whole class viewed me with shock and disbelief. They couldn’t believe the quiet girl in the last row would have the guts to do stand-up. It would be a feat more daring than belly button piercing, bungee jumping, or bringing a number three pencil on the day of an exam.
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    â€œI can’t believe you signed me up for stand-up!” I shouted as we walked to Jazzy’s car after school. “I’m totally freaking out! My ulcer is acting up, and I don’t even have an ulcer.”
    â€œYou’ll be fabulous,” Jazzy said nonchalantly. “You can put your hair in pigtails and put on those funny purple house shoes with the fuzzy pom-poms. You won’t have to say a word.”
    â€œStand-up isn’t like Shakespeare. What if they don’t laugh? I’ll be the first person to perform stand-up tragedy.”
    â€œLook, Trix, you’ve always told me you want to be a comedian.”
    â€œDuh! But I’m still in high school, Jazz. This isn’t as simple as taking drama class and performing scenes from A Streetcar Named Desire . First of all, I’ll be writing my own jokes. And I won’t have actors to react to. Performing comedy is really hard when no one is laughing.”
    â€œYou may hate my guts now, but when you’re on the Douglas Douglas Show , you’ll thank me! Then you’ll forget me. But I’m willing to sacrifice our friendship for your dream.”
    I winced. “I don’t think you see the magnitude of this. This isn’t like lip-synching ‘Fernando’ at a slumber party. This is like standing naked in front of the whole entireschool. Including Gavin!”
    â€œYes, and you’ll make him realize there’s more to life than plastic boobs and plastic personalities. And besides, did you notice how the class reacted? They envy you! Those losers could never even dream of being so courageous. You’ll finally show them what ‘bush girls’ are all about.”
    â€œThat we’re more than losers?”
    â€œWe aren’t losers! It’s just that everyone else is so three years ago—they haven’t caught up to us to know how hip and truly rockin’ we are!”
    â€œI’m glad one of us has high self-esteem.”
    â€œTell that to my therapist!”
    Just then Ricky caught up with us and gave Jazzy a slow kiss.
    â€œI guess that also helps,” I said, looking away.
    â€œI heard that our cute little Trixie is going to do stand-up,” Ricky said, pulling away from Jazzy and turning to me. “That’s fab…that takes guts! Not like professing your love to a cardboard movie star,” he added.
    Jazzy gave him a dirty look in return.

COMEDY AND TRAGEDY
    â€œI love you,” Jazzy said, kissing Leonardo DiCaprio on the mouth. “Isn’t he gorgeous?” she then asked me. The poster of the actor, freshly glued to thick cardboard, was leaning against Jazzy’s dresser. “Why don’t you borrow him? He might cheer you up.”
    â€œI need a cardboard Jelly Bean. Then I could hide behind it to recite my stupid jokes. No one would dare throw textbooks at Jelly.”
    â€œNo one’s going to throw anything at you but money! And underwear—Gavin Baldwin’s Joe Boxers. O Leonardo, Leonardo, wherefore art thou Leonardo?” Jazzy proclaimed, balancing on her wicker chair. “Deny thy father and refuse thy fame!”
    â€œFame? That’s not the way it goes.”
    â€œIt’s a whole metaphor thing, don’t you see?” she declared wildly.
    â€œShakespeare is having a cow