telephoned the doctors’ surgery in the morning to
book an appointment to see her GP, Dr. Small. There was an appointment
available for 3 p.m. that day. After booking it, she set out to meet her
mother.
As Alice ascended the stairs at
the Tube station, she saw a newspaper salesman standing outside. She then
remembered that she’d forgotten to bring yesterday’s newspaper with her. It
would have been easier to explain to her mother why she wanted to find her
father if she could have shown her the picture of Jane Forester. Having the
newspaper with her would have helped her to bring up the subject.
For a moment, she thought about
going home to get the newspaper. As she stood, unmoving at the top of the Tube
station exit, unsure what to do, busy commuters rushed past her. One man said
‘Sorry’, when his briefcase hit her leg; this roused her from her rumination.
She noticed how everyone seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere. This focused
her mind on the time. It was 10 a.m. Her mother would be wondering where she
was, and she didn’t really feel like taking the Tube back home again. Shrugging
her shoulders, she realised that she wouldn’t be able to talk to her mother
about her father today. In a way, it brought a sense of relief; part of her
didn’t quite feel ready to ask her mother about him.
Alice found her mother in the kitchen, eating breakfast.
Stephanie was wearing a long peach-coloured silk dressing gown. ‘Darling!’ she
exclaimed as Alice walked into the room. She stood up, still holding a slice of
toast, and gave her daughter a hug and kiss. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m fine, Mum. How are you?’
‘Oh, I’m okay.’ Stephanie sat
back at the kitchen table and gestured for Alice to sit next to her. ‘I’ve
decided to treat myself to a couple of days off work. We’re not busy at the
moment. Have some toast, Alice.’ She pointed to the pile of toast on the
table—much too much for her to eat alone. It was obvious she had prepared extra
for Alice, always worried that she didn’t eat enough.
Alice took one slice, even
though she wasn’t hungry, so as not to offend her.
‘So, Alice, what shall we do
today? We can go shopping; I could buy you some new clothes. Or, we could go to
the cinema; there’s a new romantic comedy I want to see... what’s it called?
Oh, I’ll remember in a minute. Or, we could go to the park.’ Stephanie leaned
to look out of the window as if to check the weather. ‘It would be a pity to
miss out on catching a bit of sun. It looks like it’s going to be a warm day
again today.’
‘I don’t mind. Anywhere you want
to go. But I have to be back early. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment at three.’
Almost as soon as she’d said it, Alice wished she could take the words back.
She saw her mother’s face drop. Ever since Alice had been a young girl,
Stephanie had worried too much about her, fearing the worst every time she had
a bit of a temperature. Alice was kicking herself for mentioning the doctor’s
appointment; her mother would now be imagining all sorts of things—it was bound
to ruin her day.
‘Why? What for? What’s wrong?’
Her mother’s eyes penetrated deep into her own.
‘It’s nothing, Mum, just a
routine trip. Um... a blood pressure check.’ Would that ease her mother’s
concern?
‘There’s nothing routine about a
blood pressure check. Oh my God! I’ll come with you. Do you feel okay?’
It seemed that her little white
lie had only made things worse. ‘You don’t have to come with me. I just got a
pain in my arm a couple of days ago and it came back yesterday—’
‘A pain in the arm? Which arm?’
Stephanie’s eyes were open so wide, Alice could see the whites all around them.
‘A pain in the arm could be your heart. Is that why they want to take your
blood pressure?’
‘They don’t want to take my
blood pressure.’
‘But you said—’
‘I know; I only said that so you
wouldn’t worry.’
‘Let me see your
Bwwm Romance Dot Com, Esther Banks