Coffin Girls (Elegantly Undead: Book 1 of the Coffin Girls Witch Vampire Series) Read Online Free PDF

that smell in
there?”
    V was clutching her stomach, shoulders hunched in silent
laughter as she leaned against the wall of the hallway for support.
    “Come”, Anais dragged V into the guest room next door.
Although they never offered accommodation to wedding guests in the plantation
house, it was much too big for all of them to use every inch of its space, so
they used the second floor’s rooms for bridal party changes and the unexpected
vampire guest, which was thankfully rare. Anais was also thankful right then
that she had a space to drag the mirth-rendered V to.
    After a few more minutes of shoulder-racking hilarity, V
stood up and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s the funniest thing. I swear I’ve
never, ever come across it before.”
    Anais was a bit exasperated at being left out of the
picture, so she just raised an elegant brow in response.
    V continued, struggling to gain composure, “It seems that
the maid of honor, in preparation for the wedding, decided to lose weight so
she could fit into her dress. She says she didn’t have time to do it the
old-school way, so she went out and bought new diet pills. Only, these diet
pills are fat blockers.”
    “That’s not unusual V, I’m not getting it.”
    V nodded as if to say, ‘wait for it’, then proceeded once
again fighting against looming laughter, “This one’s side effect is anal
leakage.”
    Anais’s lips curved in an incredulous smile, “What?”
    V nodded, grinning broadly, “Yep. It seems the pills stop
fat from being absorbed but if you eat fatty food, the oil leaks out your
derriere. Our maid of honor had a bit too much of Miss Suzette and Marie’s rich
food and subsequently had an accident. Her dress is ruined.”
    “ Mon Dieu ! You’re shitting me!” Anais automatically
responded. A beat, “Oh God,” she grinned at a convulsing V, “talk about a
Freudian slip!” Anais was caught between bewilderment and hilarity, the latter
won out and she joined V in clutching her stomach in silent hilarity, for fear
that the poor humiliated maid of honor heard them. Fighting for composure, she
looked around the elegantly furnished room instead of V, if she looked at her
friend, she’d crack up again. “I must say we’ve never had a problem like this
before. Why did she eat all the butter-rich food then? She’s local. She knows
what goes into Cajun cooking! And we did provide healthier options.”
    “She didn’t know until she came to me in tears and we
figured it out after me probing and us googling.” V looked contrite, despite
her smirk, “We shouldn’t laugh but it is unreal! So, now what should we do? I
offered to arrange a car to take her home but she insists on staying for her
friend - an admirable trait but one that presents us with an unusual
challenge.”
    Anais cocked her head to the side, contemplating, “Then the
only thing I can think of is to find her a dress and put her in an adult
diaper. The dress better not be too fitting below the waist – a classic fifties
wide-skirted dress perhaps or an empire line. Luckily we keep the diapers in
stock for our older guests with sixtieth or so anniversaries and dresses for
bridesmaids in case of accidents, though I’d never imagined we’d use both
emergency supplies together. If she’s willing to go for this, then we must get
her clear-headed enough to sign for the dress now so that she doesn’t renege
when she gets the bill. I just hope we find a dress in stock from the emergency
bridesmaid’s rail that will comfortably fit a diaper without showing it.”
     
    --------
     
    Crisis averted, Anais left V to tend to the ‘maid-of-honor
in distress’ and went back to check on the rest of the wedding. It was in full
swing. Wine and food were in abundance and the entire scene around her showed
beaming faces. 
    Anais smiled wistfully as she noticed the bride blush at the
applause an amorous groom elicited from the guests. God, what she would’ve
given to find and hold onto