Coco Pinchard, the Consequences of Love and Sex: A Funny, Feel-Good, Romantic Comedy Read Online Free PDF

everything…’
    I was quiet.
    ‘Did you tell Marika?’ he asked.
    ‘No.’
    ‘I’ll know if you did.’
    ‘So what if I did? But I didn’t, I’m living with this misery alone, as you wanted.’
    Adam looked at me and all the happiness drained from his face. We walked the rest of the way home in silence.

      Monday 16th January

    The rest of the weekend was spent rowing with Adam. Terrible arguments about keeping the baby and not keeping the baby.  
    ‘You’re just selfish. A selfish woman!’ he shouted.
    ‘Are you pregnant Adam? No. You have no idea.’
    ‘Bullshit. Just because you’ve done the middle-class thing, signed a few pro-choice petitions on the street, and been given a little sticker doesn’t mean you’re an expert,’ he shouted back.
    ‘Pro-choice works both ways!’
    ‘Yes. It means including the father too! You opened your legs and let me in, now you have to share the consequences. But sharing isn’t your thing. You’re selfish.’
    ‘Why would I want a child with you? You’re a loser just like my other husband.’
    ‘I’d rather be a loser than a murdering bitch…’

    We stared at each other. I was shocked at what Adam had just said, and I think he was too. He turned, left the room, then the front door slammed.
    A couple of hours later, I was sobbing and throwing up in the bathroom when I heard the front door close. I curled up by the bath, dreading that Adam was back. I got a shock when Ethel poked her head round the bathroom door.
    ‘Gawd, you alright love?’ she asked.
    ‘Yeah. I’ve just got a cold,’ I said.
    ‘You don’t sound bunged up…’ She tottered over to the sink and filled a glass.  
    ‘’Ere,’ she said handing it to me. I took a tiny sip. Ethel regarded me quizzically. I took another sip.
    ‘Ugh. Even water tastes disgusting,’ I said screwing up my face.
    ‘What do you think of me new perfume?’ she said holding up her wrist. ‘Iss Ma Griffe.’  
    The smell was overwhelmingly awful. I gave a dry heave and shrank away.  
    ‘’Ow far gone are ya?’ she asked.
    ‘What? No. Don’t be silly. No… I’m nowhere.’  
    ‘’Ow far?’ Ethel perched gingerly on the bidet. I snorted a bit and blew my nose and eventually admitted I was about eleven weeks.
    ‘Does Adam know?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Is it, ’is?’
    ‘Of course it’s his!’
    ‘An’ you don’t want to keep it?’  
    I looked at her. ‘You don’t know me,’ I finally said.
    ‘I don’t know yer. Ha! Pull the other one. I’ve known yer since you was eighteen Coco. I remember the malarkey when you fell with Rosencrantz.’
    ‘It’s different now, things are more complicated,’ I said.
    ‘No, I think it was more complicated the first time round love.’
    I bit my lip as fresh tears began to flow. ‘I’m scared.’ I finally said.
    ‘Course you are love, but a thing ain’t worth doing unless it makes you crap yerself a little bit.’
    ‘Is this your pep talk?’ I snapped.  
    ‘I’ll tell you something Coco, an’ I tell it with love. Yer spoilt. You’ve got a lovely ’usband, a super career, a big ’ouse what you own. Don’t you think a baby would be the icing on the cake?’
    ‘But... I want to go on nice holidays…’ As soon as I said it I realised how selfish it was.
    ‘’Olidays eh? Well I’ll come back in ten years’ time, when you and Adam ’ave bin on every ’oliday going, full of randy old middle-aged people drinking Cinzano and ’avin orgies… orgies in prescription glasses, mind. Iss a risk to have things coming at you and not knowing what they are until the last minute…’
    I was intrigued but she didn’t elaborate.
    ‘Coco, just think about it fer a minute… Now my Danny. I love ’im, but ’e was a fool to ’ave it off with that slag in your bed… Then ’e divorced you in yer twilight years, when yer looks were goin’… Left you on the scrap ’eap… Then Adam came along. Young, gorgeous, divorced. ’E could ’ave ’ad