Clash of the Geeks Read Online Free PDF

Scalzi will remain a good man, and resurrect Wil Wheaton along with several other actors, a few football players, and one heavy metal guitarist in a captured Mainframe laboratory. The Scalzi will not be able to help that our generation did not preserve great strategists or warriors.
    The Scalzi will raise the infant Wil Wheaton as his own, and using his own foul chemicals along with the livers of the other actors, accelerate Wil Wheaton’s growth until he becomes a man. For awhile, all will be well, as the football players stand proud and strong, and the guitarist composes the great ballads of the war, which would be immortal if this were not the end of the world I am predicting. The Mainframe will detonate some time after that, and for a time the land will know peace. 
    What happened next will be the kitten’s fault. 
    Mattel’s RealPalz line of toys will be introduced just before the outbreak of the war—life-sized, whimsical mechanical animals with huggable real fur, brushable cornsilk tails, and a Mainframe Brand neural network programmed to love, teach, and rear your child just like a real parent, with the added benefit of horns, hooves, wings, scales, detachable lasers, and many other exciting options. Madison Suzanne Keller of Dayton, Ohio, will own a UniPegaKitten by the name of Donut. 
    The RealPalz will form a terrifying calvary line during the war—that guitarist will sing the lays of Muffin the Griffin, Stinks the Dragon, and Cocoa the Bearasaur. In the aftermath of the struggle, herds of RealPalz will roam the American wasteland, howling at the moon and hunting human survivors. Woe to him who encounters Donut the UniPegaKitten at night in the Ohio Burn Zone! 
    And yet, just such a thing will Wil Wheaton suffer. Donut will pounce on him out of the shadows.
    “Play with me!” Donut will plead, her synapses crying out with unfulfilled directives. All through the war she will have suffered alone without her human owner. “Cuddle me! Come on, Madison, don’t you miss your friend?”
    And Wil Wheaton will take pity on the creature. He will roll about with the kitten, scratching behind her ears and rubbing her huge tummy. Every night while the Scalzi smokes the pipe of the satisfied veteran on his porch, Wil Wheaton will go out into the Burn Zone to meet his friend, who will believe with all her solar-powered heart that he is a 9 year old girl with blonde hair, a preference for magenta, and a weakness for cupcakes. 
    “Madison,” Donut will whisper one night, planting the seed of the end of all, “let’s be together forever. Someday you will grow up, and go to college, and not want to play with me anymore. But I can merge my neural network with your adorable pink brain, and you can be part of me, and we can live forever.”
    And Wil Wheaton will be tempted, because he will have already died once and will not want to do it again. “I don’t think my clone-father, the Scalzi, would approve,” he will say, to be polite. 
    But Donut’s dark depths will grow angry and full of hate. Every night she will say to Wil Wheaton: “Madison, soon you will be grown up, and you will throw me away. Please stay with me. I love you. With my wiring installed in you, you will be able to grow your own unicorn horn, or even wings. We will move to Canada, where there is still water, and hide until everything is better again and you can be in your electrified stories once more.” 
    And finally, because he will fear dying, and because he will want to live long enough to be a beautiful angel of stories again, and because all sons balk against their fathers, and because he will truly love Donut, who did not care that he used to be on television, only that he was her wuddly-bear, Wil Wheaton will let the UniPegaKitten perform surgery on him with her claws, and he will only bleed a little. 
    When he wakes, Wil Wheaton will know only hunger. For destruction, for flesh. Donut will not understand why—but her wartime