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stop. A group of smiling faces peered back at me, and I felt the sadness that haunted my aunt’s eyes drift into my own.
    The photo must have been at least seventeen years old, but I still knew the faces all too well. It was them. Aunt Kaline looked so young and innocent back then. She couldn’t have been more than 13 years old, her bright smile beaming at the camera. Uncle Sebastian, with his black shoulder length hair and rugged smirk, must have been the envy of every guy in the country. He looked every bit the perfect big brother, too, with an arm slung around each sister. I looked at the last figure, and my chest burned. It was her. She looked so beautiful – long dark brown hair and soft, milky skin. A gentle smile graced her lips; a smile I so painfully recognized. I absorbed the whole image, three pairs of light green eyes staring back at me. They looked so happy, so perfect. The world collapsed.
    I clenched my eyes shut, the flood of misery and remorse threatening to break through. This was too much. I can’t take this . I straightened up and rushed for my safe haven. Why did she have to have that out? She wasn’t the only one suffering. A flood of anger joined my depression as I rounded the corner. Blood rushed in my ears, and I almost didn’t hear the soft “Ingrid” that came from behind me.
    I ignored her and continued on my way. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t even want to look at her. They all looked so much alike. I slammed my bedroom door hard. Collapsing on my bed, I pulled my pillow to my face and screamed, the tears soaking the old pillow case.
    Shit! This is so shit! This wasn’t a messed up evening. This was the worst evening that ever happened. Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t I be happy? Just like they had been . . . so long ago. I cried harder as the image of the beaming faces came back to me. I couldn’t suppress it anymore. The memories came flooding back, flowing just as forcefully as my tears.
    I shuddered violently as the images began to change. Flashes of blood and slashed bodies danced across my mind. The scent of blood . . . charred flesh . . . wafted to my nose. I gagged and rushed to the bathroom, the contents of my stomach rising in my throat. I kneeled in front of the toilet for a few minutes, my meager dinner coming up. After I was sure my stomach settled, I turned to the sink and washed my mouth out before splashing cool water on my face. I glanced at my reflection and willed the memories back into their dark safe. My eyes glowed back at me, the light shimmering from my tears.
    I stumbled back into the bedroom and made my way to the bed. Without even taking my uniform off, I buried myself under the covers and took in several deep breaths. My sobs turned into silent weeping, and I began to forge my mental barriers, pushing all the pain away.
    Lesia was wrong. I wouldn’t need an alarm clock to get up in the morning. I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight; nightmares and anxiety would see to that. Finally numbing my mind, the pain in my body began to become evident. My hands and knees ached as I pulled the covers in a cocoon around my body. It didn’t matter. I was finally safe, here in my haven, and I wasn’t about to move an inch until the sun forced me out.
    “I knew I should have just stayed in bed today.”

Chapter 6
Radio Waves
     
     
    A thin sheen of light crept through the blinds of my window and into my eyes. I didn’t even flinch when I glanced towards the source – the crack of dawn. Finally . I pushed my covers to the side and slid out of bed. Shutting the door to the bathroom, I didn’t even bother to turn on the light before I made my way over to the mirror. I looked like a banshee; dark circles lined my bloodshot eyes and my hair was a tangled, dirty mess. After stripping off my uniform, I turned to the shower. I wouldn’t have to hurry today.
    As I waited for the water to heat up, I thought about all that happened yesterday