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sunglasses are back in place and I'm comfortable taking in the scene in front of me again.
    Doan comes flying down the slide, slamming into the water with a splash that soaks the deck and almost reaches my chair.  
    He pops up out of the water and swims over to the ledge that runs around the side and hoists himself onto it, running a hand through his short dirty blonde hair. The sun catches the silver metal dog tags hanging around his neck. I wonder if they belong to his brother, and why Doan wears them now.
    I don't miss the way his tan washboard abs have no pockets of extra fat anywhere as he sits, and how his biceps flex with every movement of his hand. I've always loved that ripple of the vein that runs down a guy's arm when he has particularly strong definition in his muscles there. My mouth runs dry when I catch sight of Doan's, and I quickly look away.  
    I can't stand him, but I'm not blind. I can't help it if I notice these things, right?

     

CHAPTER FIVE

    "Coming out to the diamond today?"  
    Justin wanders into the kitchen dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and rests his dusty baseball glove on the counter next to my bowl of cereal.  
    I wrinkle my nose and look up at him. "Really?"  
    "What? Baseball that offensive to you, Holls?"  
    "Not that."  
    He follows my gaze to his glove. "That bother you?"  
    "It's gross."  
    "Sorry." He reaches over and picks it up. "Not used to living with a girl."  
    I raise an eyebrow. "What do you consider Tanya?"
    "She doesn't count."  
    I decide not to press him for more information about Dad's wife. "Oh. Well, I think I'll skip it," I say, knowing that it means extra togetherness with Dad around, which is exactly what I'm trying to avoid if I can help it.
    "Staying home?" Tanya comes sweeping into the kitchen in a wash of perfume and heels and red lipstick. "It's a beautiful day. Come with me to the spa."
    Justin coughs and puts his mitt over his mouth.  
    "The spa?" I repeat.  
    Tanya digs around in her expensive-looking designer handbag and doesn't look at me. "Yes, of course. I have an appointment. Facial, massage, manicure, the works. It's simply divine. You must come."  
    "Actually, Tanya, thanks, but I think I'm going to head to practice with Justin and Dad."  
    She barely even blinks. "Suit yourself," she says like it doesn't bother her at all that I'm not going.  
    Tanya walks out of the kitchen like Justin and I aren't even there, and we both let out a breath when she's gone.
    He's grinning at me. "Baseball it is!"  
    I sigh. "Baseball it is."
    "Go get dressed," he says, and I glance down at my pajamas. "I'll meet you in the garage."  

    ***  

    Justin pulls his BMW into a small gravel parking lot in front of what looks like a big patch of grass and some dirt. I'd offered to drive my Honda, but he'd just looked at me and laughed.  
    A handful of guys are already out in the grass tossing around a baseball. Justin gets out of the car, and I follow him a few steps behind. I scan the field for my father, but I don't see him yet.  
    I start wandering over to the metal bleachers behind a chain-link fence where I figure I'll sit and watch practice and soak up more of the sunshine. My legs had gotten a nice bit of color yesterday by the pool, but I'm still as pale as a ghost by Arizona standards.  
    I'm scrolling through my phone when I hear the fence rattle. I look up and see a ball lying on the grass next to it as a guy dressed in basketball shorts jogs over to it.  
    I glance back down at my phone, not interested in making small talk.  
    "I hope you've got sunblock on."  
    I snap my head back up, and there's Doan, grinning at me from beneath a Phoenix Coyotes baseball hat. He's tossing the stray baseball back and forth between his hand and glove.  
    I smile even though nothing about him makes me happy.   I reach into the bag by my feet, pull out my bottle of sunscreen and wave it at him.  
    "Here you go."  
    "Good job, lady. Sun's hot today."