Christmas Pudding and Pigeon Pie Read Online Free PDF Page B

synonymous with millionaire. ‘Besides, it’s not as though she cared for me in the least. She only got engaged to me because she thinks I have some clever friends she would like to meet. She’s a terrific intellectual snob among other things.’
    ‘You seem to have her pretty well sized up, don’t you?’
    ‘Oh, she’s driving me mad.’
    ‘Now, don’t cry, or I shall stop talking about you. Do you intend to start another book soon?’
    ‘What’s the good of that? I only get laughed at; I don’t care to be made such a fool of again, I can tell you. It has hurt me terribly – terribly. Look at these.’ He drew the press cuttings from his pocket. ‘They mock at me, they make fun of my sacred feelings. It’s not very nice for me, is it?’
    ‘Poor sweet.’
    ‘It’s the most appalling disappointment, I must say. All my life I have wanted to write; I love it. Now I don’t know what I am going to do. It is hell – hell!’
    ‘I should keep off fiction, if I were you. People don’t understand tragedy in these days, only sentiment; and quite frankly your book was a bit melodramatic, darling, wasn’t it? Now, why don’t you try your hand at something else, some different form?’
    ‘Yes, perhaps I should.’
    ‘Biography, for instance. I’ve always been told that it’s very good mental exercise, and it can be quite profitable into the bargain.’
    ‘What a nice woman you are, Amabelle,’ said Paul, cheering up visibly. ‘Thank goodness I came to see you. I never thoughtof biography, but of course that’s the very thing for me. Yes, but whose? May I be your Boswell, darling?’
    ‘I believe books are still censored in England, old boy, and I don’t much fancy the idea of being burnt by the public hangman, thanks awfully, just the same. No, you choose carefully some really sympathetic character – and talking of sympathetic characters, here’s darling Sally. How’s the mother?’
    ‘Very well considering,’ said Sally, who looked enchanting in a seal-skin tippet. ‘Pleased to see you, Paul – not so pleased to see Walter at the backgammon table again. What did you promise me, darling?’
    ‘It’s all right, darling. I’m throwing doubles the whole time today. There, you see, I’ve got old Jerome on the run again. Backgammoned, in fact. That’s a sixteen game,’ he said, leaning back in his chair and putting an arm round Sally’s waist. ‘Anyhow, my sweet, it’s hardly fair to grumble, considering that that most peculiar garment you’ve got on now was bought entirely out of my winnings last week, eh? So go away, or you’ll spoil the luck.’
    ‘How’s my goddaughter, Sally?’ asked Paul.
    ‘Good heavens, are you going to be its godfather too?’ said Amabelle. ‘Whatever induced you to ask him of all people, Sally? And how many godparents does that make?’
    ‘Altogether about twelve, I think,’ said Sally vaguely. ‘We thought it would be silly not to ask Paul, as he is literally the only religious maniac we know.’
    ‘I’m not a maniac,’ said Paul angrily.
    ‘Aren’t you, darling? I think you are, though.’
    ‘Just because I happen to be a Buchanite – ’
    ‘What’s that you’re saying?’ said Amabelle; ‘I never thought an old highbrow like you would admit to such a thing. I read them in trains myself when there’s nobody looking.’
    ‘I was not,’ said Paul with dignity, ‘referring to the novels of John Buchan, if that is what you mean. Of course I don’t read them.Buchanism is the name given to a religious sect founded by Mrs. Elspeth Buchan, a Scotch and vastly superior prototype of Mrs. Eddy and Mrs. Besant. In fact, she started that fashion for the founding of religions by untitled married ladies which has since become almost universal. The last of her followers died in 1848, and I have constituted myself head of the N.B.M. (New Buchanite Movement.) As her teachings died with her followers I am able to make up the rules as I go along, which is