Checking Out Love Read Online Free PDF Page B

writing with familiar despair. He knew he had talent but decided he hated everything, and pulled out his pre-dinner snack to calm his thesis nerves. He took out one stick of soft strawberry licorice and then froze at the crinkle of plastic. He remembered, much too late, that he wasn’t in the university library, where sneaking in food was common despite the rules.
    The librarian instantly raised his head at the tell-tale sound. Jeremy very, very slowly pulled the length of licorice from between his lips. He licked his mouth and made a hungry noise. “There’s no sign telling me not to!” he pleaded, with quiet urgency. People had been eating downstairs. But of course, upstairs was a different matter. “I’m starving and candy makes my thesis better.”
    A snort from one of the other students at another table made the librarian furrow his brow. The other student abruptly buried herself behind a mountain of textbooks.
    “Is the Beast around?” Jeremy asked, glancing to either side. “Look, if it is against the rules I won’t, even if I am dying here.” He waved to demonstrate the severity of his hunger, which unfortunately, meant he also waved the sticky length of licorice.
    The librarian’s expression turned horrified.
    “Oh my God. Sticky fingers. I should have realized.” Jeremy pulled the candy back and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. Then he got up while he chewed furiously and closed his laptop. He swallowed. “Okay. If I go downstairs to eat, will you watch my stuff?” The ‘watch my stuff in the library while I pee or get coffee’ covenant was sacred and true. Surely even the Beast would understand if Quiet Librarian spent a few minutes playing guard dog to Jeremy’s laptop.
    The nod he got was a relief. He sighed. “Cool. Thanks. Hey, does that place across the street have good coffee?”
    Again, not a single person dared to shush him, although he sensed they were covertly watching the whole exchange.
    Quiet Librarian blinked a few times, then cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t… you should get something other than sugar. To eat. If you can’t focus.”
    “As if sugar is my problem. Trust me when I say the sugar will actually calm me.” Jeremy left his table and approached the desk. “Are you a health nut too? Are you completely ripped under that cardigan? Just my luck.” He let out a regretful noise. The librarian studied him in outright amazement. Pale blue made him look like a fluffy piece of the sky. Jeremy smiled. “I suppose you can’t take a break and come with me?” He heard himself and realized exactly what he’d done—he’d asked the librarian out, holy holy crap—and immediately tried to call it back. The librarian’s sweater vest had dropped stitches in it, which meant it was definitely homemade, which meant his boyfriend had undoubtedly made it for him. His committed, perfect boyfriend, who grew organic tomatoes in their garden and made insalata Caprese for brunch with their friends.
    “I definitely need coffee,” Jeremy summed up, face so hot it stung. “Want me to bring you one?”
    “Ripped?” The librarian repeated the word after far too long of a silence. He appeared completely lost. “You’re leaving?”
    Jeremy wrinkled his nose, although at least the librarian hadn’t seemed to notice Jeremy’s garbled attempt to date him. Nonetheless, he was disappointed. Was it too much to ask that just because the guy worked in a library, he could be a genius, or could at least keep up with Jeremy? Of course, that was a lot to ask of anyone. To be fair, it wasn’t as if Jeremy was a great looker or anything to make them want to try. When he loved something, he loved it, and that was all there was to it. He also tended to express that devotion the way he thought, in random, fast, seemingly disconnected ways.
    Whatever, he told himself. It didn’t matter, and it wasn’t the librarian’s fault in any case.
    “Nevermind.” He wasn’t lying to himself, and to