Casting About Read Online Free PDF Page B

so—sterile.”
    â€œSterile?”
    â€œYeah. Little girls like frills and lace, but it needs something more. Like maybe you could replace those pictures on the wall with something more little girlish.”
    I glanced at the framed photos of the water and pelicans I’d taken. She was right. Probably not very exciting for an eight-year-old.
    â€œWhat do you suggest?”
    â€œA theme. You know, like ballerinas or Dora the Explorer or even dogs and cats.”
    â€œGood idea. How can I do that?”
    â€œThe yarn shop’s closed tomorrow. Why don’t we go into Gainesville? Make a day of it. We’ll get some pictures for the walls, a few throw rugs to match the theme, even linens that will appeal to a little girl. There’s a lot you can do to make the room more personal. Get some stuffed animals, maybe hang a mobile in that corner. Oh, and a desk. Talk to Adam about getting her one. All little girls love to have their own desk—gives them their own space to do their homework and that kind of stuff.”
    I leaned over to kiss Dora’s cheek. “You’re a genius. Thanks. It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at nine and we’ll hit the big city.”
    We walked back to the kitchen to have our coffee.
    â€œHow’re you really doing with all of this, Monica?”
    I shrugged my shoulders and let out a sigh. “I’m not really sure. It all got thrown at us so fast. There wasn’t much time to prepare, let alone really think about it.”
    â€œYou’re doing the right thing, you know. Sounds like that poor child hasn’t had a very stable childhood.”
    â€œWhen I met Adam and found out he had a daughter, I guess I never gave it much thought. She lived in another state and I knew we’d have her with us during the year for visits, but that’s not the same as being a full-time stepmom. I’m still not sure how I feel about having my own children. Sometimes I think I’m more like Sybile than I realized.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?”
    â€œShe was very honest right from the beginning when she had my mother. Having children was not in her life plan. She never regretted giving her up for adoption. I know my mom had a hard time understanding that, but Sybile was honest about it. She lived her life on her terms, and getting married and raising a daughter wasn’t part of those terms. I remember when she told my mother that not every female is cut out to be a mother—not all of us are born with those maternal genes.”
    â€œSo what you’re saying is you think you’re lacking those genes like Sybile?”
    â€œCould be. All I know is I have no experience with children. I was an only child. Hell, I never even babysat. It didn’t interest me, and I preferred having a paper route to make extra money. I can’t even recall having a special doll like other little girls. If I did, I don’t remember.”
    Dora smiled. “Being a tomboy or enjoying things other than dolls doesn’t mean you’re not cut out to be a mother. Monica, I think you’re worrying too much about all of this.”
    â€œI’m not even sure Clarissa Jo likes me. Adam and I weren’t married last summer when she came to stay here for a month. I was living at the Lighthouse with my mother and only saw Clarissa Jo when Adam would invite me to go somewhere with them. I tried to talk to her, but she pretty much ignored me.”
    â€œWell, she’s not going to be able to ignore you living here. She’ll have to listen to you and mind you and behave. But she’s been through a rough time too. Keep trying to remember that.”
    â€œThat’s another thing. I’ve never had to discipline a child. God, I’ve never even owned a dog that required discipline. And she’ll probably end up resenting me if I have to correct her or punish her. I’ll just leave that to Adam.”
    Dora reached