Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) Read Online Free PDF

he’d been away.  He wasn’t smiling and his eyes were as wide as mine as we stared at each other.  I took a step to turn the cart and leave, but I couldn’t move.  It seemed like he wanted to do the same, but his feet stayed planted firmly to the ground and our eyes remained locked.  Even if I could move, I knew I couldn’t.  We couldn’t just walk away from each other as if we were strangers…as if we’d meant nothing to each other, but I didn’t know what to do and so I stood there, trying to control the beating of my heart.
    “Jesse,” I finally said.  I was expecting my voice to be louder than it came out.  I don’t know who made the first step, but we were walking slowly towards each other and soon we were only a few feet apart.  He smelled just as a I remembered.  Fresh cologne and something else I’d never been able to pinpoint…but it was all him.  Ever since he left I’d tried to put him behind me and tell myself it was for the best, just as he’d insisted, but now that he was right in front of me, everything came rushing back. “What…what are you doing here?” I stammered.
    “Brandon…I came to see him.”
    “He…he didn’t tell me you were in town,” I said softly, unable to meet his eyes again.
    “Yeah…I didn’t tell him.  I just kinda sprung it on him.  It was a last minute decision.  I just got in last night,” he said and an awkward silence settled in between us.  I knew I should probably say more, but my mind was racing as I tried to comprehend that I was actually talking to Jesse, that he was really here and I wasn’t just imagining this.  Part of me wanted to run away too.  It was almost suffocating being so close to him after all this time.  I wanted to slap him and yell at him and run into his arms all at once.  I didn’t, of course, and we just stood there.
    “Well…” I said as I finally looked up to meet his eyes again. “I…I should go.”
    “Yeah, me too,” he said softly and we stood there a moment longer before I found the strength to finally turn the cart around and head in the opposite direction, feeling the distance growing between us as I tried to figure out why there was a lump growing in my throat.  And then I paused and turned to him, when I heard my name again. 
    “Riley!” Jesse’s voice called out and I tried ignoring the ache in my heart at the so und of my name on his lips. “It was good to see you.”
    “You too,” I said, my voice pushing painfully through that lump in my throat. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
    And this time when I turned away, I didn’t look back.
     
    ****
     
    Somehow I’d managed to check out and pay for my groceries.  I’m not sure how coherent I was and my mind got lost in the rhythmic beeps as the checker moved my items across the scanner.  I’d swiped my card, loaded the groceries in the trunk and drove home robotically.  I didn’t even turn any music on.  I just stared at the road, replaying the encounter over and over in my mind.  The road became blurry at points, but I refused to let any tears escape.  I’d already wasted too many tears on him.  I was over him now and I wouldn’t waste anymore. 
    I unloaded the groceries when I got home, forcing the image of Jesse from my mind whenever he tried to invade my brain.  It was a futile effort though because he always managed to sneak in somehow.  I could still hear his voice and when I closed my eyes, his intoxicating scent was still there.  The pain I’d finally escaped returned, raw and fresh and I shook my head, begging him to stay away.
    I busied myself making dinner. I’d never been known for my culinary skills and my mom was  surprised when she got home and saw dinner on the stove.  It wasn’t much, just spaghetti and a salad, but she seemed grateful to see a hot meal waiting for her.
    “This is really good.  When did you learn to cook?” she asked with a slight laugh after a few bites. 
    “I don’t think I