Calling All Birdbrains Read Online Free PDF

the foam off our faces with the backs of our hands.
    After a three-or four-minute burping session, I shook my head sadly. “Thanks to that traitor parrot,” I moaned, “Sherman is now the luckiest dude in school.”
    â€œWho knew the bird would turn lucky again?” Feenman said.

    Crench wasn’t finished burping.
    Foamy Root Beer is very bubbly. Sometimes after you drink it, you burp for two or three days.
    â€œSherman is bragging all over campus,” Feenmansaid. “He says he’s going to win every game at the I. B. Rotten Competition.”
    â€œHe is going to win every game,” Crench said. “With Lucky Lippy, no way he can lose.”
    I slapped my forehead. “What am I going to do?” I moaned. “When are those games? The day after tomorrow, right?”

    Crench replied.
    â€œJennifer says she and I have to win every game,” I said, shuddering. “If I don’t get that bird back, she’ll…she’ll…”
    I knew exactly what Jennifer would do to me. Crack my arms and bend me into a pretzel.
    But I couldn’t say it. “Aaaack, aaaack.” I started ack ing again.
    â€œGet Bernie some more soda,” Crench said.
    Feenman dove under his dirty clothes pile.
    â€œ Aaaaack . No time for root beer,” I moaned. “I’ve got to get Lippy back from Sherman. Now.”

Chapter 18
G ASSY S HOWS O FF
    The next day, I brought my pet bulldog, Gassy, over to Nyce House, Sherman’s dorm. You can probably guess how my dog got his name.
    I found Sherman in the Commons Room with Wes Updood and a bunch of his buddies. He had Lippy on his shoulder. And believe it or not, Sherman was still showing off his new gold cell phone.
    â€œSee this bright yellow light? Know what that’s for?” Sherman asked. “It’s so I can tell which pants pocket the phone is in!”

    â€œIt’s like a cherry in your ear,” Wes Updood said to me. “Without the stem. Know what I’m saying?”
    â€œNo,” I said.
    Gassy wagged his stub of a tail.
    â€œWet dogs don’t chew their food,” Wes said. “But you can look up fiduciary if you don’t know how to spell it. Know what I mean?”
    â€œNo,” I said.
    Wes is so awesomely cool, I wish I could understand him.
    I pushed through the crowd and stepped up to Sherman. “I’ve gotta apologize,” I said. “I did a bad thing.”
    Sherman slipped the cell phone into his pants pocket. I could see it glowing in there.
    â€œI didn’t give you the REAL lucky pet,” I said. “And I feel bad about it, Sherm, because you’re my buddy.”
    I pushed my sweet bulldog up to Sherman. “Here he is—the real good-luck guy. He’ll bring you so much good luck, you won’t know what hit you!”
    Sherman squinted down at Gassy. “That fat thing is good luck?”
    I nodded. “I feel so bad, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll give you Gassy and take Lippy off your hands. It means I’m gonna have a lot of bad luck. But that’s okay. I want to do the right thing.”
    I reached for Lippy.
    But at that moment, Gassy decided to live up to his name.

    We all heard it. And then we all smelled it.
    It was BAD…. So bad, it set off the smoke alarms!
    Sherman’s friends were gagging and retching and sick on the floor.
    â€œTake Gassy, Sherman. Don’t let his little stomach problems keep you from having good luck,” I said.
    Sherman dropped to his knees, holding his nose. “OUT!” he screamed. “OUT! I’m dying! I’m DYING!

    Get that dog OUTTA here!”

    â€œOkay, okay, don’t shove,” I said. “You don’t want good luck? Fine. I’m going.”

Chapter 19
W HO’S A G OOD B IRD ?
    I’m a good guy. I’m not a thief.
    But what choice did I have? Spend the rest of my life as a pretzel? Or steal Lippy away from