Burton & Swinburne 1 - The Strange Affair Of Spring Heeled Jack Read Online Free PDF

start: namely, that whatever modification they made to a species, it always seemed to bring with it an unexpected side effect.
    In the case of the parakeets, it was that they swore at, mocked, and offended everyone they encountered. The person on the receiving end of the service would inevitably be given a message liberally peppered with insults not put there by the sender. Nothing, it seemed, could be done to correct this fault. Originally, it had been hoped that every household would have its own parakeet but, as it turned out, no one could bear the constant abuse in their own home. So the Post Office had stepped in and now each branch kept an aviary full of the birds.
    In the runners' case, the drawback was nothing more serious than a phenomenal appetite. Though they were whiplash thin, the dogs required a square meal at every address they visited, so despite being a free system, those who used it often found themselves investing a considerable amount of money in dog food.
    Burton heard the front door close. His letter was on its way.
    He took a swig of brandy and reached for a cheroot; he had a taste for cheap, strong tobacco.
    Explore Dahomey? he thought, still dwelling on what he should do now that the Nile question was out of his hands; for though a new expedition was required to settle the matter once and for all, he knew that Murchison would not commission him to lead it. The Royal Geographical Society was already fractured by the verbal duel he and Speke had fought, and the president would doubtlessly offer the expedition to a neutral geographer.
    So, Dahomey? Burton had been wanting to mount an expedition into that dark and dangerous region of West Africa for some time but now it was going to be difficult to raise the money.
    A private sponsor, perhaps? Maybe a publishing company?
    Ah, yes, then there were the books. For a long while he'd wanted to write a definitive translation of The Thousand Nights and a Night; perhaps now would be a good time to begin that ambitious project. At very least he should finish Vikram and the Vampire, the collected tales of Hindu devilry that were currently stacked on one of his desks, with annotations half completed.
    Write books, keep a low profile, wait for his enemies to become bored.
    Marry Isabel?
    He looked at his empty glass, blew cigar smoke into it, held the cheroot between his teeth, and reached for the decanter and poured more brandy.
    For more than a year, he'd felt destined to marry Isabel Arundell; now, suddenly, he wasn't so sure. He loved her, that was certain, but he also resented her. He loved her strength and practicality but resented her overbearing personality and tendency to do things on his behalf without consulting him first; loved the fact that she tolerated his interest in all things exotic and erotic but hated her blinkered Catholicism. Charles Darwin had killed God but she and her family, like so many others, still clung to the delusion.
    He sought to quell his mounting frustration with another glass. And another. And more.
    At eight o'clock there came a tap at the door and Mrs. Angell appeared, looking with disapproval at the drunken explorer.
    “Did you even touch the coffee?” she asked.
    “No, and I don't intend to,” he replied. “What do you want?”
    “The boy is back.”
    “Quips? Send him up.”
    “I don't think so, sir. You're in no state to receive a child.”
    “Send him up, blast you!”
    “No.”
    Burton pushed himself up from his chair and stood unsteadily, his eyes blazing.
    “You'll do as you're bloody well told, woman!”
    “No, sir, I won't. Not when I'm told by a foul-mouthed drunkard. And I remind you that though I am your employee, you are also my tenant, and I am free to end our arrangement whenever I see fit. I shall take a message from the boy and bring it to you forthwith.”
    She stepped back to the landing, closing the door behind her.
    Burton took a couple of steps toward the door, thought better of it, and stood