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Leave it to Michelle to do something like that right in front of Lex .
    I took Lexy and left. I told her I felt really bad and would do anything to restore our “friendship”. So of course she suggested I help her get Logan back.
    You should have seen her, all red with snot dripping down her face, complete with heartbroken tears! I wish I had taken a picture. I’d love to throw darts through her snot riddled face any day, or better yet plaster it all over the walls at West. Anyway, she landed right where I wanted her. I made her promise she’d teach me how to bind Fems without lifting a finger. And she pinky swore she’d do it.  
     
    I can’t believe Lexy knows about Fems —about binding Fems , which I didn’t even know was possible. That must mean Lexy is one of them—us, whatever. What if she’s Celestra like Chloe and I, like Logan? Maybe that’s what attracted her to Logan?
     
    July 6 th ,
    Brushed my teeth.
     
    July 7 th ,
    Found Ellis and some girl from East in a closet at his party tonight. It actually bothered me to see him with someone else. Isn’t that weird? I totally thought I didn’t care about him. Funny how life surprises you that way. I told him, if he didn’t hook up with her, I’d have a treat for him later. He totally thought it was light driving, which I think is quickly becoming one of his many addictions. Anyway, I gave him instructions on how to come through the room in my attic and let himself into my bedroom. I padlocked the door like a Fem was on the other side and let him have his way with me for hours.
      I still can’t believe I did it. It feels strange knowing I’ll never get something like that back, but then again it’s over and I don’t have to think about it. Plus, it was with Ellis Stoner Harrison, which I don’t think really counts. Get it? He’s a Count? He’s really just a twerp.
     
    July 8 th ,
    Totally regret letting Ellis violate my body that way. At the beach today, he panted by my side all day long. When I showed up at Devil’s Peak to hang out, he brought me flowers! It made me want to jump off the cliff.
    Obviously sleeping with Ellis has sent the wrong message. Plus, it depressed the hell out of me because no matter how hard I pretended—he didn’t magically morph into Gage. Now I’m probably going to have some Count slash Celestra lovechild because I was too freaking stupid to use protection!!! I swear, I never thought I’d be as stupid as Carly baby-mama-Foster .
    So I spent the rest of the night blubbering in a corner to Emily. Honestly, she’s like my only one true friend.
     
    July 28 th ,
    OK, so I’ve let Ellis in a bunch more times. After I got my period and stopped jumping up and down like an idiot who just won some sort of ovulation lottery, I decided that being with Ellis could happen again so long as he brought the proper gear.
      Em hacked off all her long black hair today! She totally looks like a guy now, but it’s sort of my fault because I encouraged her to do it. That’s what friends are for, right?
    Anyway. On the Gage front, I went over to hang out tonight. Ellis went somewhere with his family and plus Lexy is out of town, so Michelle practically begged me.
    We watched a movie, and after I went outside to hang out by the pool with Gage. We just dipped our feet in the water and sat next to each other real quiet. It was nice. I still wish it were Gage coming down through my attic.
     
    August 2 nd ,
    Ms. Richards knows. Oh freaking shit! I want to strangle Lexy and her big, fat, stupid, mouth!
    So I get to sixth period and she goes all psych teacher on me and starts asking about my lineage and shit . Who the heck does Lexy think she is letting people in on our secret? Anyway, Ms. Richards invited me over to her house to check something out that belonged to her great, great, grandmother , like I’m some sort of extra terrestrial expert all of a sudden. The strangest part is that Ms. Richards believed everything Lexy told her.