Buddha's Money Read Online Free PDF

over to a large metal plate canted into the stone foundation of the hooch. He opened it and, using a nearby pair of metal tongs, reached in and pulled out a glowing cylinder of flaming charcoal. He scooped out the orange-tinted ash beneath it and tossed the refuse into a pile of spent fuel. After reinserting the flaming briquette, and placing a fresh charcoal briquette on top of it, Herman slapped his dusty hands together and closed the lid of the stove.
    Koreans call it the ondol heating system. Flues carry charcoal gas beneath the hooch, which heats the stones above and the wood-slat floors above that. All in all it's very cozy and Koreans love a hot platform to sleep on, even during the warm monsoon season.
    Generally, changing the charcoal is considered to be menial work, and most people with any money hire someone to do it for them. Sticky Girl Nam could've afforded a maid. But, apparently, changing the charcoal was another method she used to humiliate her husband.
    Three of the old women put on their slippers and surrounded Slicky Girl Nam, rugging on her arms, cajoling her to sit down. Slicky Girl Nam let her face slump, now playing the role of the bereaved mother. The old women sat her down on the raised varnished floor and cooed over her. One brought her a glass of warm barley tea.
    When Herman finished with the charcoal, I stood in front of him.
    "Spill it, Herman. What the hell were you into this time?"
    "Nothing."
    Ernie, hands on his hips, strode behind Herman and booted him in the butt. Herman didn't jump as I'd expected him to but turned slowly, tears building until his eyes looked like boiled eggs.
    "What'd you do that for?" he asked.
    "For not talking to my partner. For not spilling it all." Ernie jabbed his pointed nose into Herman's round one. "Your little girl has been kidnapped. You came to us for help. If you don't start talking there's no way anybody's going to find her. So talk!"
    For a moment I thought Herman might slug Ernie, but instead he rotated his torso back toward me.
    "A skull. Carved in jade," he said. "From some old king. That's what she told me it was. Worth a lot of money, too."
    "Who's 'she'?" I asked.
    "The chick," Herman said. "The tall chick. The one with the big yubangs."
    Yubang. Breast. Another important word.
    Ernie raised one eyebrow. "What's this chick's name?"
    "Lady Ahn."
    "Lady Ahn?"
    "Yeah. That's what she calls herself."
    "And these guys were looking for that antique?"
    Herman nodded.
    "How do you know?"
    "They told me." He held up his arm. Fresh round burns had been seared into the flesh above his elbow. I hadn't noticed them before. "They told me they wanted it."
    "What'd you tell them?"
    "I told them the truth. I don't have it."
    "Who does?"
    "Lady Ahn. I'm meeting her tomorrow to set up the transfer. So I can get it back to the States for her."
    "Hold baggage?"
    Herman nodded.
    I saw the connection now. An antique dealer with a particularly precious piece she wants to smuggle out of the country. The Korean Ministry of the Interior won't let dealers take some pieces out, especially the ones classified as national treasures. Maybe this jade skull Lady Ahn had was one of them. And even if she received Korean permission to ship it to the States, once it arrived at a U.S. port of entry, a fat customs duty would be slapped on it. Military hold baggage wasn't checked as closely. In fact, it's hardly checked at all. A cursory sniff for drugs and that's about it. The perfect way to ship a prize antique out of the country.
    "And once this skull arrived in the States, Lady Ahn was going to buy it back?" I asked Herman.
    He nodded. "With a nice markup."
    "So you were getting ready to arrange the transfer," I surmised, "but before you received the piece some guys visited you and did this."
    Herman nodded again.
    "And when you couldn't produce this jade skull, they took Mi-ja."
    Herman let his head droop.
    "You ought to get a job, Herman," Ernie said. "Earn an honest living. Then this