Bright Lights, Dark Nights Read Online Free PDF

people in the same room for dinner,” I stammered, noticing how nervous I was. Everything felt more difficult when I got nervous. Talking. Breathing. Naomi was trying to spoon food into Kelly’s mouth, and it dropped onto her little table.
    â€œMom, how do I get it in?” Naomi asked. She held a spoon between her right thumb and index finger, and when she moved it toward Kelly, the baby closed her mouth. When she pulled the spoon back, Kelly’s mouth opened. Naomi laughed and butted her head softly against Kelly’s. I could admire her like nature, or art. Like a sunset you could hang up in a museum. I pulled my eyes away and looked at my plate. It was a fancy plate.
    Denise got up to help Naomi. “Do you have any brothers or sisters, Walter?” she asked.
    â€œNo, it’s just me and my dad,” I said, before I remembered I did have a sister. So I told her that. Then I remembered I had a mom, too. My eyes darted around the room. They had paintings on the wall, chests and drawers, a chandelier. Some kind of jazz was playing in the other room. There were no windows in the dining area, so I’d even forgotten about the storm. I had to make an effort not to look awed. It was weird how weird normal could seem.
    â€œWalter’s Dad is five-o,” Jason said with his mouth full. “One time, poh-lice. Right, Walter?”
    â€œYou listen to too much of that rap crap,” his dad said.
    â€œShut up, Jason,” Naomi piled on. “You think you’re so funny.”
    â€œI am funny,” Jason snapped back in a fashion that would make any stand-up proud. Even his clothes had a different effect in this context. He wasn’t bold and fearless. He was the goofy character on a Nickelodeon show who absorbed every punch line thrown at him.
    â€œIf you were funny, we’d be laughing and you wouldn’t be yelling at us,” Naomi said. I laughed, and Denise told them both to eat their food. “I’m eating,” Naomi said, taking a bite of vegetables and smiling for her mother. The first time I saw Naomi, I didn’t know she was a Naomi, and especially didn’t know she was a Mills. We were passing in the hall. She had her harp and looked like she could use a hand. I was late for the bus. She was pulling the harp on a stand of some kind with wheels and lost control, and it was tipping over. I caught it. “Got it?” I’d asked, and she’d said yeah and laughed.
    Kelly clapped her hands and let out a joyous squeal. I smiled because it was cute, but I’m uncomfortable around babies. I have a tendency to call them “it,” and they have a tendency to scream and squirm around me. Naomi clapped her hands for Kelly, Kelly clapped her hands back, and within seconds they were having a dance party.
    â€œHow’s the harp going?” I asked her, drawing on all of our history together in one power punch of an icebreaker.
    â€œGood,” she said, not quite acknowledging our connection. Naomi straightened up in her seat, almost too straight. She had a posture that matched the chair she was in. She glanced at me, and I mimicked her straightening posture, tilted my chin up. She laughed and sat up even straighter.
    â€œWill you sit like a man?” Jason asked, only noticing my half of the conversation. “Slouch a little—damn. You’re gonna be crossing your legs next.”
    â€œSo your dad’s a police officer, Walter?” Denise asked as she placed her fork down. “Does he work in the city?”
    â€œHe’s, like, a beat cop or something, handing out parking tickets,” Jason said as if the question had been addressed to him. Mouth still full of food.
    â€œJason, could you be any more rude? Do you need all the attention?” Denise asked.
    â€œWe’re having an adult conversation,” I said to Jason, and Naomi laughed. Everyone laughed, even Kelly. Naomi made a crinkled-nose