their
way back to the dorms on one of the parallel sidewalks, the buzz of a late
summer beetle a few feet away from my ear. I caught movement in the corner of
my eye and my heart pounded until I realized it was one of the campus police.
The frat and sorority houses were so far away from the
dorms that I almost regretted walking. But if I had convinced Georgia to drive
me over to the Phi Kappa house, it would be weird; and I couldn’t really ask
her to stay outside while Johnny and I had some lengthy discussion. It was
better by far that I had walked the distance, no matter how nervous it made me.
Frat row was weirdly quiet and for a moment — caught
up in my own paranoia and anxiety — I felt like I was a walking horror movie
trope, the girl going down the dark, quiet street, just ripe to be snatched by
some psychopathic killer, some slasher out for
revenge on the world because some girl turned him down for a date or something. You’re being ridiculous, I told
myself. If there was a serial killer on
campus killing girls, then there’d at least have been an alert about it.
I finally came to the Phi Kappa house and took a deep
breath. Somewhere inside the sprawling place, Johnny had to be sitting around,
doing something. It occurred to me to wonder that there were no parties going
on; the frat looked so different when it was quiet like this, when everyone was
inside, when half the campus wasn’t piling in to drink and dance and make out
with each other. I walked up the walkway and climbed up the three steps to the
front door. I heard a cheer from inside — shouts, some comments, some laughter.
Running underneath that I could hear the dull roar of the TV.
I took another deep breath and lifted my hand. It felt
numb, like a heavy wooden block at the end of my arm. Just get it over with, Becky, I thought firmly. It wasn’t as though
putting it off would make me less anxious or get me answers any sooner. I
knocked quickly three times, biting my bottom lip to suppress the instinctive
little yelp of fear that rose up inside of me. For just a moment, the urge to
run away — to dart off of the porch, down the walkway, and try and get down the
street as quickly as possible before someone came to the door — came over me. I
swallowed against the tight, dry feeling in my throat and told myself that I
was being ridiculous. No one answered the door; I knocked again, harder,
finally regaining feeling in my hand. My knuckles ached from how hard I
knocked. There was a shout inside of someone telling someone else to go get the
door.
My heart was still pounding in my chest when one of
the other members of the frat opened the door; for a moment I was disappointed
that it wasn’t Johnny himself, but then I realized there were plenty of guys
who belonged to the frat. It wasn’t like I could expect him to always be the
one to answer the door. It would probably just be whoever was closest or the
junior-most members. The boy frowned as he saw me, his head half-turned towards
the living room area, distraction plain on his face along with more than a
little annoyance. “Hi,” I said nervously.
“Hi,” he replied, giving me a look as if he was
doubtful of why I was there or even if I was some kind of weird freak. In fairness, you are at the door of a frat
in the middle of the night, I thought wryly.
“Is Johnny around?” I asked, trying to make my
expression as pleasant as possible. “I was hoping I could talk to him real
quick.” Something happened inside of the house and I heard a shout rise up from
whoever was in the room — some of the shouts delayed, slurred somehow. With the
door open, I could smell the unmistakable reek of alcohol.
“Hey! Johnny! Some chick’s here for you!” The
annoyed-looking boy called out over his shoulder. I heard a low-voiced joke,
the sound of a bunch of guys laughing, and then Johnny’s voice called out from
somewhere within the huge house that he was coming. The boy wandered away,
barely