Brains for the Zombie Soul (a parody) Read Online Free PDF Page B

together in each other’s arms. We
both kept saying, “I’m so sorry,” to each other.
    “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I can’t believe that
I could be scared of someone who was brought into being by my
husband. How wrong I was to be afraid of you. I’m so sorry.”
    I told her that I forgave her. “You reacted much
as I would have before this whole thing started. It’s okay.”
    “Where’s Isaac?” asked Alec’s father while
holding his wife. She was sobbing into his shoulder. “He should
come meet a true war hero.”
    Mrs. Deeter went back down the hall. It was a
while before she came back since she had to explain the whole thing
to her son first.
    She brought the boy into the room, and he gave
me a hug. Not a polite hug, like he was being told to do it, but a
big sincere hug. “My mommy told me that my daddy made you one of
the good guys.”
    I started crying harder than I ever had before.
“That’s right, Isaac,” I said. “We’re good guys.”

    (back to
TOC)

    ****

    Carrying Groceries
    A man who lived in a large apartment
complex had just gotten home from work and parked in one of the
parking spots out front. On this particular property, a large
parking lot sat in front of the buildings, and residents had to
walk to their apartments. The people who lived in the back of the
property had a considerable walk to their doors, especially if they
lived on the 5th floor.
    Such was the case with this businessman. Not
only did he live on the top floor of his building, but his building
was as far away from the parking lot as possible. He hated the walk
from his car to his door, especially in this cold weather. To make
things even worse, the elevator was out in his building.
    As he got out of his car, the neighbor that
lived right below him, a zombie, was unloading groceries from his
own car. The zombie said, “I’ve got a lot of groceries here. Since
we’re going the same way, would you take a bag or two for me?”
    The businessman said, “On that far of a walk? No
thanks.” He then walked to his building, leaving the zombie
behind.
    He stepped inside, winded from the walk up the
stairs, took off his coat and shoes, and collapsed into a chair.
And then his cell phone started to beep because the battery was
running low. And the charger was in his car.
    With a sigh, he got back up, put his coat and
shoes back on, and trekked back out to his car, passing his
neighbor struggling with the groceries along the way. When he
returned to the building, the zombie was right in front of him in
the stairwell. The businessman huffed and sighed, wishing the
zombie would hurry up.
    When the zombie took the next step up, halfway
up the first flight of stairs, the load he was carrying became too
much for him. The bags of groceries were so heavy that they ripped
his arms off. The bags upended when they hit the steps, tumbling
down and losing contents as they fell. The stairway was now covered
with cans and oranges and all other manner of groceries.
    In all the mess, the businessman couldn’t get
by. He had to help the zombie so he could get to his own apartment.
Reluctantly, he started picking up all the groceries and put them
back in the bags. He put the zombie’s arms under one of his own,
picked up the bags (which were very heavy), and started up the
stairs.
    He didn’t know how the zombie had gotten so far
with the bags himself. He had to stop at least once per flight to
set everything down and rest for a minute. After what seemed like
forever, he finally got to the fourth floor and the zombie’s door.
He had to pull the key out of his neighbor’s pocket to get the door
open and the groceries inside.
    He put the zombie’s arms in a bag and put the
bag around his neck so he could take them to get sewn back on. When
the zombie left to get help, the businessman finally got back to
his own apartment and relaxed.
    The realization humbled him: if he had only
helped the zombie with half of the load when he had asked,