the background, looking appalled. She claimed COD was too violent.
Violent it might be, but Nick already knew that a two-dimensional image and some shouts and sound effects werenât much like real life. It sure didnât include the coppery scent of blood, or the way a girlâs face felt under your fingertips as she walked the frayed rope between life and death. The very falsity of a video game was comforting. When the game was over, you just put down your controller and went back to your real life.
And while they were shooting and stabbing and running, Nick would tell Kyle some of the truth about what had happened tonight. Not all of it, of course. He didnât want to see Kyleâs disgust. But he would tell him how he had helped save Marianaâs life.
Sure, Ruby had been the one trying to stop the bleeding, but in some ways stabilizing Marianaâs cervical spineâor C-spineâhad been even more important. Since the pickup had hit her hard enough to knock her out of one of her boots, it might have also broken something inside the slender column of her neck. And if that had happened and Mariana moved, then those shattered bits of bone could have sliced into her spinal cord. A seven-year-old permanently in a wheelchairâmaybe even needing a machine to breathe for herâwas even worse than a seven-year-old with a mangled leg.
Until the paramedics arrived with a cervical collar, Nickâs job had been to be the human version. He had laid on the damp ground behind her, propped on his elbows, his thumbs above her ears, his fingers cradling the bones at the back of her skull. Just as they had been taught, he didnât try to move Marianaâs head, or carry the entire weight of it. He simply held it in place.
Under his thumbs, Marianaâs face had been cool and clammy, which meant she was already going into shock. He and Ruby had told her over and over not to turn her head, that everything was okay, that she needed to lie still, that help was on the way.
When the paramedics showed up, it took them only a few seconds to wrap a real cervical collar around her neck, bandage her leg, and thank all of them for what they had done. He had held her hand until the last possible moment, been rewarded by a squeeze when he told her he had to let go. Then they had put her on a backboard and loaded her into the ambulance.
Nickâs stomach had calmed down since it first rebelled. Now he rummaged through the refrigerator, letting the jars and bottles clank together, listening for the sound of Kyleâs bedroom door opening.
Silence.
He allowed the fridge door to thump into place. No answering sound of Kyleâs bedroom door opening. After pulling a box of cereal off the shelf, he let the cupboard door slam closed.
Nothing.
Finally, he went to his brotherâs bedroom door. Nick listened, holding his breath, then turned the handle and nudged it open.
Kyleâs bed was empty.
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CHAPTER 12
K
SUNDAY
BEADED WITH BLOOD
He showered until all traces of her were gone. Scrubbed with a loofah until every inch of his body was pink and tender. Every bit of skin was new now. Beaded with blood here and there.
Blood. He couldnât think about blood, or he would get sick again.
He couldnât believe he had done it.
Done that thing.
But he hadnât meant to.
Had he?
And now he might go to jail for the rest of his life.
For a one-minute mistake.
For a mistake he would take back if he only could.
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CHAPTER 13
THAD
MONDAY
ONCE YOU KNEW THE TRICK
Thad Westmoreland rode with his head down. Bad enough that it was icy this morning. There was also a wind that seemed to be funneling right down the collar of his jacket.
Riding a bike to work had been great when it had been warm. Now, even dressed in a waterproof jacket and pants, there were many days it was a wet slog. Today it was simply bone-chillingly cold. But on minimum wage and working part-time, who could afford a car?