Blood Red Road Read Online Free PDF Page B

must hurt like nobody’s business, but she ain’t made a peep.
    Why didn’t you tell me? I says.
    I didn’t want you to yell at me, she says.
    I look at her, her face so small an thin. I hear Lugh’s voice in my head.
    She’s only nine, Saba. You might try bein nice to her fer a change
.
    You should of said somethin, I says. I wash her cuts an wrap her feet in clean strips of cloth. All right, I says, put yer arms around my neck.
    I pick her up. I carry her as much as I can fer the rest of the day, but even a scrawny nine year old gits heavy. I’m carryin our packs too so I hafta put her down from time to time. She ends up havin to walk a fair bit.
    She weeps quietly in the night.
    My heart pinches at the sound. I reach out an touch her arm but she flings my hand off an turns away.
    I hate you! she cries. I wish they’d killed you instead of Pa!
    After that, I pull my cloak over my head so’s I cain’t hear her cryin.
    We gotta keep on.
    I gotta find Lugh.

    Third day. Dawn.
    I clean Emmi’s feet agin an we set off. She takes two tiny steps an falls to the ground. She won’t be doin no walkin today. I guess I ain’t surprised. I pick her up an lay her down on a grassy patch in some shade.
    I run my hands through my hair. Glare at the sky. I wanna scream or run around or … anythin to git rid of all the tightness inside of me. I kick the ground so hard I stub my toe. I curse mightily.
    I’m sorry, Saba, Emmi whispers.
    I try to smile, make it look like I don’t care, but I cain’t manage it. I turn my head away from her.
    It ain’t yer fault, I says. I’ll sort somethin out.
    I spend the rest of the mornin makin a dragger. I cut two of the springiest, strongest tree branches I can find. I lay ’em out on the ground an brace ’em crosswise with smaller branches to make it good an sturdy fer Em to lie on. I lash it all together with nettlecord rope. Then I make a yoke to go over my shoulders an pad it with our spare tunics.
    It’s ready by the middle of th’afternoon. I tie Emmi an our packs onto it. I swaddle my hands in cloth. The right one’s still sore from bein shot, so I wrap it in a clean bandage first. I don’t want it gittin worse.
    Then I start pullin. The dragger bumps an thumps over the ground, but Emmi don’t complain or whimper or cry. She don’t make a sound.
    The sun beats down. It’s merciless. Cruel. It makes me think cruel thoughts. Like:
    Why couldn’t they of killed Emmi, instead of Pa?
    Why couldn’t they of took Emmi, instead of Lugh?
    Emmi ain’t no use to nobody. Never was. Never will be.
    She’s slowin me down. Makin me lose time.
    My brain whispers. My heart whispers. My bones whisper.
    Leave her
 … 
leave her
 … 
walk away an leave her. What
 … 
to die? Don’t even think about it
 … 
she don’t matter
 … 
what matters is Lugh
 … 
go back to the cairn
 … 
head out across Sandsea
 … 
that’s the way they went
 … 
you could be there in a couple of hours if you walked fast
 …
    I give myself a shake. Shut my ears to the whisperin. I cain’t leave Emmi. I gotta take her to Crosscreek to stay with Mercy.
    Lugh said I had to keep her safe. When I find him, I gotta be able to tell him that she’s okay. That I looked after her as good as him.
    As I pull the dragger behind me, I wonder where he is. If he’s afeared. If he misses me like I miss him.
    My missin him makes my whole body ache. It’s like … emptiness. Emptiness that’s beside me, inside me an around me, all the places where Lugh used to be. I ain’t never bin without him. Not fer a single moment from the day we was born. From before we was born.
    If they touch him, if they hurt him, I’ll kill ’em. Even if they don’t, I might kill ’em anyways, as punishment fer takin him.
    My shoulders ache. My hurt hand throbs. The sun beats down. I grit my teeth an make myself go faster.
    Why don’t Emmi cry? Why don’t she whine?
    I wish she would. Then I could yell at