Blood on My Hands Read Online Free PDF Page B

embarrassed. But to be honest, I was a little curious. Alex was a major cutie. Not that I would ever go out with him. Everyone knew my heart belonged to Slade. But just the same, all of us watched. All of us, that is, except Katherine. I glanced in her direction and discovered that she was watching me, and that she’d no doubt seen the curious, almost excited, anticipation on my face as I waited to see how Alex would respond. Now instead of faking embarrassment, I truly did feel my cheeks grow hot as I realized that the whole thing had nothing to do with how Alex might answer, and everything to do with how I felt about his being asked.

Chapter 9
    Sunday 1:36 A.M.
    IN THE PICKUP I’ve just finished telling Slade about how Katherine relentlessly worked on me, how it seemed to have become her personal mission to get me to break up with him, how foolishly dazzled I was by the life she was offering, how it got to the point where I felt like I had to choose between her and him. And Katherine was there every day, while he was far away.
    “It was just a sick game to her, Slade. Seeing if she could get people to do whatever she wanted them to. And I was scared. I was afraid you’d get called up to active duty and have to go away for years, and I didn’t know how I’d manage to wait that long. Or that you’d be horribly wounded and you’d come back … you know … different.”
    I expect him to get angry, but instead, he nods. “Every soldier’s worst nightmare.”
    “What is?”
    “That he’ll be on the other side of the world, fighting a war that makes no sense, risking his life for his country, and the girl he’s left behind won’t be there for him when he comes back.”
    I stare into the darkness. “I heard your unit was called up.”
    “Yeah, but I’m not going.”
    “How?”
    He pats his right knee. “Separation without benefits.”
    “What’s that?”
    “A week ago the medical review board DQ’d me. I’m not in the Guard anymore.”
    Then he won’t be sent overseas! “That’s great! It’s fantastic!”
    He just nods, tilts his head back against the headrest, and closes his eyes. Despite everything that’s going on, all I’ve wanted to do since I got into the truck is kiss his cheek, feel his arms around me. I reach over and touch his shoulder.
    “Don’t!” Slade’s eyes burst open. His sudden gruffness startles me and I jerk back, surprised. “It’s too late!” he snaps. “I mean, you can’t just say you’re sorry!” He closes his eyes again and presses his forehead into his palm.
    The force of his unexpected anger practically hurls me against the passenger-side door. The shock alone might have been enough to cause tears, but that’s coupled with everything else that’s happened, and they burst forth freely after his abrupt rejection. I don’t think he’s ever lost his temper with me before.
    He sits with his hands tight on the steering wheel while I wipe away the tears. “But all I can do is say I’m sorry,” I reply with a sniff. “I am, really. I still can’t believe I did it. It’s like I was under some kind of spell.”
    “Some other guy’s spell,” he mutters bitterly.
    The words strike like a slap. “What?”
    “You know.” He doesn’t look at me.
    As if I’ve not already faced enough injustice for one night, now this? Indignation billows inside me. “That’s so untrue! Oh my God! Who told you that?”
    “Someone.”
    “Someone who lied. There was no one else! Ever! Not even for a second. I swear to you. Slade, you have to believe me.”
    He’s silent. I wonder if he’s weighing my words against the lie someone told him. But who would have lied to him? And why? “So who was I supposed to be seeing?”
    “She didn’t say.”
    So it’s a she who told him. “She never said who this other guy was supposed to be?”
    Slade’s quiet again. Who do I know who would be capable of telling such a terrible, harmful untruth?
    Katherine. Who else?
    One of the