Blind Faith Read Online Free PDF Page B

and
when the police finally prised it from her it was discovered
to be dead. The woman had voiced a contradiction
that had occurred to Trafford many times. It must, he felt,
have occurred to everybody. Yet the woman was arrested
for incitement to religious hatred and Trafford never
saw her again.
    So many laws contradicted actual personal experience,
which was why, despite the absence of official rank in the
workplace, there was nonetheless a strict pecking order. It
was based on the conspicuous public display of spiritual
orthodoxy and in Trafford's little world Princess Lovebud
was top dog. Princess Lovebud was so filled with faith
that Trafford wondered how there was any room left
inside her for the doughnuts which she consumed
throughout the day.
    Princess Lovebud believed in everything. First and
foremost, of course, she believed in the Lord and the Love
and the law of the Temple. It also went without saying
that she believed in Baby Jesus and that Baby Jesus
wanted Princess Lovebud to dream the dream and to be
anything and everything that she wanted to be. But
Princess Lovebud's all-consuming faith went further. She
was a trained astrologer, a tarot reader, a white witch
and a departmental Slimmer of the Year (using the power
of faith). She practised only tantric sex and claimed to be
a Buddhist in that she believed absolutely in the power of
love and the healing strength of being her own person.
All these faiths were entirely consistent with the teachings
of the Temple, since it was assumed that all faith was
simply a faith in the Love by another name. The obvious
exceptions to this law were the designated 'false faiths',
Islam, that great 'other', and of course the dirty Jews.
    Princess Lovebud certainly had faith. She was (as she
constantly reminded people) a deeply, deeply spiritual
person. She was also as dangerous as a pit bull if crossed
and would diss you big time on the office blog if she
detected, even for a moment, a lack of respect for her or
her family.
    Trafford suspected that she was an informer for
the Inquisition.
    'Group Hug!' Princess Lovebud shouted, smiling
broadly and throwing wide her arms, and then, in a
grating imitation of a little girl, she added, 'Wanna hug,
need a hug, got to have a hu-u-u-u-g.'
    Trafford and his colleagues dutifully assembled in the
centre of the open-plan office and formed a circle with
their arms entwined and heads bowed solemnly towards
the centre. Trafford, to his horror, found himself standing
next to Princess Lovebud, laying his arm across her naked
back, or at least as far as it would go, for Princess Lovebud
was proud to be a woman of size and Trafford's arm was
not long enough to hook itself around her waist. He was
instead forced to leave it resting across the great folded
muffin top that bulged over her satin thong. This position
was agonizingly ambiguous. How much pressure to apply?
Too little would indicate a lack of joy and commitment to
the communal experience, while too much might bring
forth an accusation of harassment and disrespect. Princess
Lovebud was terrifyingly unpredictable and a charge of
abuse from one rumoured to have contacts in the
Inquisition was too alarming even to think about.
    'O Lord, O Love, O Lord of Love,' Princess Lovebud
chanted loudly as Trafford struggled to keep his arm from
shaking, 'grant us the serenity to be ourselves and to love
ourselves and to be everything that we want to be. To
dream the dream and to live the dream as you want us to
do, O Lord. Each day is an open door; let us have the
courage to step through it and not to close it behind us,
that others might step through it also. You made me in
your image, Lord, and so it is my duty to love myself as you
love me. I believe that children are the future. Amen.'
    'Amen,' the circle echoed at the top of their voices.
    'And speaking of children,' Princess Lovebud shouted,
like some holiday-camp master of ceremonies about to
announce the raffle prize, 'I believe Trafford has