it up.’
She threw back her head and laughed. ‘The first time I saw you, Oz Blackstone, I thought there might be some mileage in you. Could be I was right.’
‘I’m touched, my dear.’
‘Yes, that was what I thought.’
‘Thank you again, on behalf of loonies everywhere. But seriously for once, we’re clear of that lot back there. Is there anywhere else you want me to take you? How about your parents?’
‘God no, Oz. For a start they’re in Auchterarder; and for seconds, sooner or later Mum would ask me about Dawn, and I’ve never been able to lie to her.’
‘But Prim, you’re going to need to talk to her. The murder might be reported on telly tonight. She could see your flat on the news.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘No, I think not. My parents cling to this planet by their fingertips. Mother’s hobby is Romantic Novels and Dad devotes his life to making model soldiers. He sells them to collectors through magazines. Anything from one-off Kilties to whole battle scenes, to order. They’re just not interested in what’s on the telly, unless it’s by Barbara Taylor Bradford or Kate Adie.’
‘Is there anyone else, then?’ Suddenly I was seized by the thought that taking this woman under my roof would be the biggest step into the unknown that I’d ever made. ‘Do you have any friends in Edinburgh?’
She turned in her seat and looked at me. ‘Do I feel the chill of cold feet? Do you want to be shot of me?’
‘Absolutely not,’ I shot back at her, too fast in the circumstances. ‘I just don’t want you to feel that you’re being ...’
‘Spirited away to your lair, were you going to say?’ Her smile was delicious. ‘Don’t worry, Oz, we fell into this thing together, and I reckon we should see it through together. More than that, you’re my best bet for a shower and a sleep. Shower first, though. Do I need one!’
I creased my nose and looked sideways at her. ‘Funny that. I was just thinking that it’s been a long time since I had a really ripe woman in this car!’ She slapped my arm, hard enough for me to feel her strength, not hard enough to hurt. I saw her tanned nurse’s bicep bunch.
We made our way up the Walk, pausing occasionally for red lights. It was a beautiful warm day in early May, and the trees in the central reservation were in blossom.
‘You know, Mr Oz Blackstone,’ said Prim, ‘this may sound like the wrong thing to say in the circumstances, but I’m glad to be home. Even Florence Nightingale must have become dehumanised after a while. If you need an example, just think back to how I reacted to finding a corpse in my bed!’
‘Hey,’ I said as gently as I could. ‘You are home. Just hang on to that. You’re in Edinburgh and it’s beautiful. Look around you.’ The car swept round the Elm Row island, and up towards Picardy Place. She laughed. ‘Come on Oz. That’s the St James Centre up ahead. Not even a homeboy could call that beautiful.’
‘Okay, well just hang on a minute. We’ll get to some nice bits!’
My house is in one of the nicer bits. Less than half a mile from the Palace of Holyroodhouse, so for a week every year I can say that I have the Queen for a neighbour.
‘What’s this?’ said Prim, as I slid the Nissan into my parking space.
‘My house. Where I live. It’s a conversion. It used to be a grain store or something, until a developer got hold of it. I live in that pointy bit up there. It’s more of a loft than a flat. See the bit right at the top? According to the estate agent who sold me the place, that’s called a belvedere. There’s a ladder up to it. Quite often Wallace climbs up it to sun himself. Yes, there he is, look.’ As if wakened by the sound of our arrival, the iguana peered down at us solemnly.
‘Jesus,’ said Prim, shaking her head. ‘I find a dead dwarf in my bed, and now I’m going home with a guy who has an iguana as a flatmate.’
‘A loft, not a flat,’ Must get the terminology
Heidi Hunter, Bad Boy Team