Black Sheep Read Online Free PDF Page B

the hall and were dancing, aware of being watched. Charlie was small and rat-like, Rose decided. His shiny black hair was smarmed down across his head, showing up the spots on his neck. She shuffled further in to the circle of girls.
    â€˜Rose Howker! Didn’t think you were allowed down here.’
    â€˜She’ll have come with Clive. Is Clive here then?’
    Heads turned to the end of the room and the boys.
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜You’re not on your own, Rose, you’d never.’
    â€˜Why not? It was Mary who invited me, anyway.’
    Hands flew to mouths to hold back giggles.
    â€˜That one. There they are, you seen them?’ A little shriek this time.
    â€˜Charlie Minns! What’s she up to then?’
    â€˜What do you mean, anyway, “it was Mary who invited you”? Don’t need anyone to invite you – unless it’s another sort of invitation.’
    The laughter exploding like that out of the group had the whole room looking round.
    â€˜She said, would I come.’
    One by one, they looked or moved away or edged past her and floated off elsewhere about the room, until Rose was alone again. She would know better next time. She felt defiant.
    â€˜Rose, will you come with me? I want to go home. Please come with me, please, you’re my friend and you’re not enjoying it, are you, I can tell, and I can’t leave on my own.’
    Mary was at her side and pulling on Rose’s arm, her face white, eyelids puffy. Rose looked round but no one was watching, they were eyeing each other, one end of the room slowly merging with the other, the girls sucking on drinks with straws, looking with big eyes over the tops of tumblers, the boys hanging on to beer glasses even when they had drained them.
    â€˜Please . . .’
    â€˜But what about –’
    â€˜Don’t ask, don’t say it.’
    Outside there was no one, as soon as they had got themselves past the boys who were standing together on the step, smoking. There was a half-moon with skeins of cloud pulled across it like frayed wool. Mary held Rose’s arm tightly but stumbled on the paving in high-heeled shoes that had belonged to an aunt with smaller feet. From the open Institute windows they heard the sound of the accordion.
    When they were beside their old tree, in the darkness, Mary took out a packet of cigarettes, lit two. Rose saw her face in the match flare, troubled and fearful.
    â€˜Mary . . .’
    â€˜It was what he said. He said he liked me but he would have to shape me, he would have to make sure I didn’t let him down in any way at all. He said otherwise it was going to be hard to show me to his family. And he pawed me and when I said I didn’t like that he said I’d get used to it quick enough, because I had such a chance with him. He said what other such chance would I have for a step up in life?’
    â€˜Oh, Mary.’
    â€˜And he’s right, isn’t he?’
    â€˜I don’t see that you should be ashamed of your family.’
    The cigarette burned strongly for a moment as Mary drew on it. Rose saw her face in the red glow, taut and anxious.
    â€˜Do you like him, Mary? I mean, really?’
    Mary shrugged.
    â€˜You don’t then, and you can’t marry someone you don’t like a lot. You have to love them.’
    â€˜What do you know about it?’
    There was no need to reply.
    â€˜He puts his hands where they shouldn’t be.’
    Rose could not ask. She had an idea where that was.
    â€˜I don’t want to go back in there tonight.’
    â€˜Or any night.’
    â€˜Oh yes, I’ll go next week. You can’t just stop at home, can you? Come on now.’
    They went arm in arm across the dark grass and stumbled at the gap in the fence separating the field from the lane, almost pulling one another over and laughing then, as if they were still eight years old and coming home from school.
    Rose went through the door