Black Sheep Read Online Free PDF

from my rough kisses.
    I hated myself for marring her delicate flesh with my touch. She was too good, too perfect for anyone, especially me.
    “Because I don’t want you that way!” I yelled, not thinking of who else could hear our conversation.
    It was the biggest fucking lie I’d ever told, and that included the lie about my father accidentally overdosing.
    She stiffened as if I’d smacked her in the face. Her soft blue eyes widened with shock, and I had a front-row seat to the hurt that seeped into her expression when my words struck her conscience.
    “But … you want me. I felt it in my hand. I felt it in the way you kissed me.”
    I laughed, even though it was the last thing in the world I felt like doing. Truth be told, I wanted to scream in aggravation. Cry in physical pain as my body throbbed for her and repelled her touch at the same time.
    “I’m a guy, Nicole. I have a cock,” I said bluntly. “It doesn’t take much to get me hard. That would’ve happened with anyone.”
    “Are you trying to say I have no effect on you whatsoever? That you don’t care about me at all?”
    She was on the verge of tears and seeing her respond that way felt like a kick in the balls. I never wanted to hurt Nicole. I never wanted to do anything but protect her and admire her from afar. Set her on a pedestal and worship her from beneath.
    “Of course, I care about you. I told you, I’d do anything to protect you.”
    It was the truth.
    I’d do anything for her.
    Anything .
    “Like a sister, though, right?” Her voice cracked with unshed tears, and I had to force myself to stay put instead of going to her and holding her to me.
    I nodded, the lie slipping from my tongue like it was nothing. “Yes. Like a sister.”
    Even saying it made me feel dirtier than I already felt. I’d crawled on disgusting floors as a child. I’d eaten the trash of others. Even thinking of Nicole as anything but the woman I craved made me feel filthy, as if I was rotting from the inside out.
    What kind of man longed for his sister?
    Craved her so harshly that nothing in life felt good anymore.
    There was no pleasure.
    There was no joy.
    There was only the sweet, agonizing ache of wanting something I could never have.
    She’d never be like a sister.
    Never.
    She was so much more than family—than blood—than life.
    Finally, a tear escaped and rushed down her flushed cheek. I moved to wipe it away, but for once, she was the one pushing me away, leaving me feeling crushed inside.
    “No,” she croaked. “Just stay away from me.”
    She moved to her bed and slammed her suitcase closed, trapping the overflowing clothes inside.
    “Nicole,” I muttered, somehow knowing I’d lost her for good.
    Something had shifted in our unique relationship, and she was going to pull away from me in the way I’d always hoped she would.
    I wasn’t good enough.
    I’d never be good enough for her.
    No one would be.
    She didn’t respond.
    Instead, she hefted her large suitcase onto the floor and pulled up the handle so she could roll it around.
    Her tears had dried, and her broken expression smoothed into one of cool resolve.
    “See you at Thanksgiving,” she said as she waltzed by me and out into the hallway.
    She left me alone in her room with only the sounds of her suitcase thumping against the stairs as she took them one by one, leaving me behind like the nothing that I was.
    It was what I’d always wanted. Over the years, she’d made it damn near impossible to stay away with her sweet smiles and lusty looks. I knew what she wanted. I’d always known. I also knew I wanted the same, but I’d never let that happen. I’d never curse her with all that I was. I was black trash, and she was white, incandescent light. I was hell, and she was heaven, and I’d never drag her down with me.
    Never.
    Ten minutes later, when I went downstairs, I was met with silence. Nicole and her dad had already left for the airport, but I could hear Mrs. Palmer in the