charred metal by some very pissed-off Colombians. But his packed suitcase was still in the trunk and he had nothing else to do. “I’ll pick you up in twenty,” he said.
Jack made it in half that time, but every extra minute and then some was lost on U.S. 1, which south of Sparky’s had become a veritable parking lot. Florida Highway Patrol had moved the middle-Keys roadblock up to Key Largo, a pretty reliable indicator that the NOAA’s projected zone of impact had expanded north to the upper Keys. Southbound traffic was backed up all the way to the mainland. Theo spent the entire trip surfing the Web on his iPhone, giving Jack oil-spill updates in real time as they crept along in stop-and-go traffic.
“Get this,” said Theo. “Says here that if American cleanup equipment isn’t allowed into Cuban waters, it could take anywhere from fifty to seventy days for the right equipment to arrive from Africa or South America.”
There was a new oil-spill tidbit every two minutes, and Jack had no idea how much of the Internet slosh was true. Ninety minutes into the trip, the FHP checkpoint was in sight. Theo had yet to contact his friend who owned the bar in Key West, so he tried calling one more time.
“He still doesn’t answer,” said Theo as he tucked away his phone.
“This guy’s a friend of yours?”
“Friend of a friend.”
“You dropped everything in Miami to help out a friend of a friend in Key West?”
“It’s business. Word on the street is that Rick’s looking to sell his café. I got a group of about five guys thinking about making an offer. Two of em actually have money. I’m the scout.”
“Well, scout. How are we getting through the roadblock?”
Theo fell silent for a moment, thinking. Jack’s gaze returned to the roadblock, where just about every other car was being turned away. They were in need of a plan, and from the expression on Theo’s face, one had just come to him.
“Do you still have your room key from Big Palm Island?” asked Theo.
“Yeah, but—”
“Give it to me.”
“ This is your plan to get us through the roadblock?”
“Just give me the key,” said Theo.
Jack opened his wallet and handed him the plastic card. The convertible inched forward to the checkpoint, where a state trooper stopped them and approached the vehicle from the driver’s side.
“Afternoon, fellas. We’re turning away all sightseers. What’s your business in the Keys?”
Theo leaned over from the passenger seat and handed him the key. “We’re staying at Big Palm Island Resort.”
The trooper looked skeptical. “The two of you are staying on Big Palm Island—together?”
“Yes,” said Theo. He reached across the console and slid his hand onto Jack’s knee. Jack froze.
“Is there something wrong with that?” asked Theo.
“Well, uh, no,” the trooper said, backpedaling. “Of course not.”
“Because you’re acting as if there is something wrong,” said Theo, indignant.
“Nothing wrong at all,” said the trooper. “I have lots of friends who are . . . well, I have a few friends who probably know some gay people.”
“May I have our key, please?” asked Theo.
The trooper gave it to him.
“I’ll have you know that this key is to the honeymoon suite at Big Palm Island Resort. Isn’t that right, Jacky?”
Jack hesitated. “Technically, yes, that’s true.”
“So you two are on your honeymoon?” asked the trooper.
“Yes,” said Theo.
“No,” said Jack.
“It wasn’t a trick question,” said the trooper.
“I’m on my honeymoon,” said Jack. “But he’s not . . . I mean, we’re not—this is not our honeymoon.”
Theo folded his arms in pouty fashion, glaring at Jack. “So hurtful, Jack. You promised: no more double life. Officer, could you please let us through before my so-called partner ruins everything?”
The trooper hesitated.
Please , ” said Theo.
“All right.” The trooper stepped aside and waved them through. “Enjoy