Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune Read Online Free PDF

steady breath. She breathed in again
and held it, focusing on memories of the sea like Eleanor had taught her. Her
breathing and heart rate gradually went back to normal.
    “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but don’t let this job ruin
things for you. There’s no shame in quitting if it’s too hard.”
    “I know.” She understood it in her head, but every time she thought
about giving up that pay-cheque an image of Lewis would swim in front of her
eyes and make her heart-sick. “I know it’s not worth having a relapse over.”
    The kitchen door swung open and Noah stood there silhouetted in the
light from the hall. He stared down at her. She knew he’d heard the juicy parts
of the conversation.
    “I have to go,” she said and ended the call.

CHAPTER 4
    ––––––––
    N oah flipped on the kitchen light. “You’ve got a drink problem.”
    She stared up at him, too scared to say anything.
    He shook his head. “I can’t believe you. All that sermonising,
giving me advice. You’re as bad as I am.” And he’d come so close to asking for
her help.
    “No. I’m straight. I haven’t had a drink in two years.” She folded
her arms, hugging herself.
    “But I bet John doesn’t know, does he?” His mouth curled into a
sneer. “Just wait till I tell him—”
    “Please. Don’t.”
    “Why shouldn’t I? Why should I have to put up with you looking over
my shoulder when you’re just as fucked up as I am? At least I don’t get freaked
out by human contact.” He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her closer.
    She flinched and looked down at the floor.
    A twinge of guilt flickered in his chest, but he ignored it. She
deserved everything she got. She was a liar.
    “Go on, tell me why I shouldn’t call him right now.” He gave her a
shake and she looked up into his eyes.
    Tears streaked her beautiful face. Tears he’d caused. He let go of
her.
    “I need this job. I need the money.”
    “What for? Vodka?” He wished the words back as soon as they were out
of his mouth.
    “I don’t drink any more.”
    “That’s not what it sounded like on the phone.”
    “I was talking to my sponsor about tonight.” She wiped at her face
with the heel of her hand. “I wanted a drink. More than I have for a long
time.” She looked away again, put some distance between them. “But I didn’t
have one.”
    Yeah, because you didn’t have anything on you. Should he believe her? She said she’d been dry for two years. But he
knew how easy it was to throw out lie after lie. He was so confused. It didn’t
feel like a lie.
    Had it been his fault? Had he pushed her to the brink with his
bullshit? “Why tonight?”
    She looked at him for a long time. Another tear ran down her cheek
and she wiped it away.
    He didn’t want to care, but watching her cry made him feel evil. It
would be better for both of them if she left. This whole thing had been a
stupid idea. He’d go back to the clinic and really try this time. “I’m sorry.
I’m a big fuck-up and it looks like I’m ruining your life as well as mine now.
Just go.”
    She shook her head. “I need the money.”
    It would have been nicer if she’d said she didn’t want to let him
down. “What for?”
    Wiping her cheeks again, she clammed up and turned away.
    “Fine. I’ll call John first thing in the morning and tell him why
you’re leaving.” He had to know what was going on.
    “If I tell you, will you promise not to say anything?” She turned
her big brown eyes on him and he desperately wanted to nod his head.
    But he couldn’t let her control him like that. “I can’t make any
promises. Just tell me.”
    “Okay. But I’ll make some tea first.”
    He walked around in front of her to the kitchen cupboards. “Let me
make it. You go and sit down.”
    She sat at the table and some of the tension leaked out of her. He
hated how much better that made him feel. He should have been glad to let her
squirm after all the lies she’d told, but he