Bittersweet Hate Read Online Free PDF

filling my voice. Corey leaves through the front door and I wonder how he’s getting home; if he’s even going to come home.
    “What did you do?” Rex ask s concerned with my well-being. I can’t even talk. Fuck, I don’t even want to talk about it.
    “I… I don’t want to talk about it.” I mumble out flustered with the whole situation.
    “Mimi.” Jenna says, her motherly tone kicking in. Her fingers dig into my arm.
    “What happened?” Her voice is begging me.
    “I punched him in the face.” I whisper, ashamed of my actions. I’ve hit Corey before but this time it went too far. Her face morphs into shock as Rex comes back into the building. I wasn’t even aware he left.
    “He’s not outside, what happened.” Rex is out of breath as if he ran around the building looking for him. It’s your fault he doesn’t want to be here, I say to myself.
    “I punched him in the face. He pissed me off; he pushed me to the edge so I pushed back.” I say meekly, not really wanting to say anything at all built knowing if I don’t Jenna will get it out of me.
    “He didn’t hit you back did he?” Rex asks as he examines me for any trauma. That question raises a red flag to me, he didn’t but he looked like he wanted too.
    “No he didn’t but should I be concerned?” Suddenly it occurs to me the stress I’m putting him under. The constant banter I once thought was funny could very well be eating away at him. I start to hate myself, instead of hating him.
    “ No, not really I don’t think he would ever hurt you Mimi. He cares about you more then you know.” Rex says as if he knows what Corey wants.
    “No he doesn’t Rex, the only type of feelings he has for me are hate, and then there’s that sexual frustration. What he feels is the need to sink his dick into me. That’s it plain and fucking simple.” Rex looks at me as if I’m stupid, as If I can’t see the things occurring around me.
    I look at him as if he’s stupid, as if he can’t see the fuming agitation between the two of us.
    “You’re both stupid.” He says shaking his head. Jenna hits him in the arm, giving him a dirty look for calling her best friend stupid. It doesn’t bother me though, in a way I am stupid. I should’ve seen the way my behavior affected both of us. Corey’s done so much for me. He saved my life, he went to jail for beating the shit out of Brody for what he did to me.  He’s been a whole lot better to me then I have been to him.
    “Let’s go, he’s not a lost puppy Rex he can find his own way home.” I say softly a calmness incasing me.
    “Alright ” He replies letting out a loud sigh. I can’t wait to get home and put this night behind me. But as much as I want to forget about what happened tonight a nagging feeling sits there in the back of my mind. I wonder if Corey will even come home tonight.
     

Home Sweet… Home?
     
    I feel even worse when I get home to a dark quiet apartment alone. Since the assault, I haven’t been the same. I’m still my snarky, bitchy self, but I’m more constantly aware of my surroundings. Contemplating the easiest ways to get out of a situation if need be. I’m always looking over my shoulder, avoiding dark areas. Everything that I used to take for granted before I no longer do. All it takes is an instant for your life to change. 
    I throw my purse at the floor and contemplate getting the tequila out. I told Corey and Jenna that I wouldn’t drink myself into a drunken stupor, but it’s starting to sound very appealing.
    My phone starts ringing in my purse and I scramble for it. I pull it out, and see it’s my mom. Ahh. Not someone I want to talk to right now. I push decline, and pray she doesn’t leave a voicemail. Every time she calls it has to do with some type of drama back home or she wants to order me around to do something. That’s just what I need right now. Sigh. It’s the fucking straw that broke the camel’s back.
    I pick myself up off the floor, grabbing