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could do about it. These were Claire’s thoughts as her family left the building. Death means that I stay here for eternity as a spectator instead of one of the main cast.
    She was shortly to discover that her assumption about her future was completely wrong.
     

 
     
    Chapter 3
     
    Claire could hear Ron’s voice in the background but was having her favourite fantasy and didn’t want it to end. It was their wedding day. They’d been lucky with the weather. It was warm, but not too warm, and the air was still. A few small clouds hung static in the deep blue sky. The elaborate white chairs padded and covered with red velvet, had been placed in rows of ten on the gravelled area beyond the country mansion’s patio. Claire’s family and friends were sitting chatting on the left side and Jay’s on the right. A red carpet placed in between the rows of chairs led the way to the concrete steps at the top of which the ceremony would take place. Jay stood nervously talking to his best man awaiting the arrival of his beautiful bride. Claire and her bridesmaids, Tash and her best friend from school Cheryl, made their way from her room along the corridor towards the entrance. Although the listed building had been modernized it still contained the framework of its original features and the mix of old and new gave it a feeling of splendour and comfort. The front doors were already open and they didn’t notice the wedding planner as he indicated that the guests should stand. All of the women turned to look at Claire and the men smiled at the ‘Ooohs and Aaahs’, knowing that there’d be tears spilt before the end of the ceremony. Claire looked and felt wonderful. In her fantasy she’d managed to lose the five pounds that took her down to what she considered to be her ideal weight. She was in a tight fitting white satin dress that clung to her upper body, showing off her lovely figure. The sleeveless creation had a row of crystals sewn to the neckline, which shimmered in the sun. The dress billowed out from the waist and as Claire walked to meet her groom, the bottom half of her dress undulated like waves buffeted by a gentle breeze. Her bridesmaids followed behind holding her train. As she walked along the red carpet she locked eyes with Jay. It was as if an invisible thread held their look and they smiled at each other enjoying the moment. Claire took her eyes off Jay and handed her bouquet of freesias to Cheryl before walking up the steps. She was greeted by the Registrar and her groom, and taking in a breath, she took a moment to admire the stunning view from the elevated position, determined to enjoy every minute of the wonderful day. To the right was nothing but green countryside with gently sloping hills. On the other side was the magnificent sea view. The day could not have been more perfect.
    ‘Claire. Claire. Come on! I need to speak to you.’
    Ron’s shouting shattered her fantasy and brought her back to the present with a depressing thump. When he saw her face he knew straight away that she’d been fantasizing. He had fantasized many times about his holiday with Val for their 25 th wedding anniversary.
    ‘Oh, Claire, it’s going to be all right, you know.’
    She couldn’t hide her tears and she didn’t want to.
    ‘I thought I’d never know what it felt like to wear my wedding dress, to see what Jay looked like on our special day and to see how happy our friends and family were for us. But I was wrong. It was like I lived it, Ron, and it was so...’ She shuddered and sucked in a few breaths, trying to find the right word to explain.
    ‘It was just so real, as if I was actually there. But I’m not. I’m here and I’ll never go on honeymoon with Jay. Never experience the pain and joy of childbirth. Never see the emotion on his face from holding our sons and daughters. Never attend their school sports days, never...’
    Her sobbing prevented her from continuing. Ron put his arms around her and stroked her