Beyond Belief Read Online Free PDF

changed, though, one day in early 1988 when Cathy came home at family time.
    That particular evening, I saw her speaking privately with B. J., who looked upset. From where I sat on the couch, I could hear Cathy tell him this would be their last daily family time together. From now on, she and Mike were only going to be able to see him once a week, on Sunday mornings, since the rest of the week they were going to be somewhere very secret doing important things for the Church.
    Even though we were just four years old, B. J. and I were both used to the Scientology explanation that our parents gave us about why they had to work so much. They would explain how they had to help lots of people and sacrifice personal time for the Scientology cause. We nodded our heads that we understood, pretending that the explanations would make us miss them less.
    Now, though, looking at B. J.’s face, I knew there was no way he could pretend to not be devastated. He didn’t talk a lot, and as his mother carefully laid out what was going to happen, he just listened and stared at the floor. Afterward, I tried to comfort him by putting my arm around him and telling him how sad I was for him, but all I could think was how unlucky he was to lose this cherished hour with his parents. That’s when Cathy told me that my parents would no longer be coming home at family time, either.
    “I don’t believe you,” I told her defiantly, but when I paused to think about it, I realized I had only been seeing my parents less and less during the week for the past few months. While my mom was often traveling, my dad, bit by bit, had been coming less and less frequently in the evenings on weeknights. From what Cathy was telling me, this separation was now official.
    As it turned out, my parents had already relocated, and I hadn’t even realized it. A series of new policies had been enacted by the Church that severely restricted the amount of time Sea Org families could be together. For instance, Sea Org couples were no longer allowed to become new parents. If a Sea Org woman did become pregnant, the couple had to leave the Sea Org and go to a non–Sea Org mission, which was a demotion. There, they would still be on staff and work at a Scientology church, but they wouldn’t be allowed back in the Sea Org until the child was six years old, and even then, they would have to reapply. For Sea Org members who already had children, there were changes as well. On the positive side, their kids would be accommodated with improved facilities for care and schooling, but on the negative side, the nightly family hour was essentially canceled, and children over the age of six would be raised communally at locations close to Sea Org bases.
    While Uncle Dave hadn’t written these policies, it was impossible for him not to know about them. They weren’t the kind of changes that could have happened without his approval. It was hard to say why they did happen. Uncle Dave never had kids himself, which probably played a role; I’ve always believed not having children was a conscious decision on his part, as he had married Aunt Shelly before this rule was put into effect. Perhaps, through other Sea Org members, he saw how much work kids were and the facilities and personnel they needed. Most likely, though, it was because kids were a distraction that caused the parents to become less productive and more emotionally invested in something other than the Church.
    I never doubted that my parents loved me. I accepted that the time they had for me was extremely limited. Even now, looking back on their dedication to the Church, I have no doubt that its teachings played an enormous role in their putting their Sea Org responsibilities before their family at all times. In many ways, they sacrificed family for what the Church considered to be for the “greater good.” In Scientology, we said, “The greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics,” meaning that when making decisions,