Bent Not Broken (A Cedar Creek #1) Read Online Free PDF

dealt with, now move on to the next item on today’s agenda.
    Cal Bennett and my reaction to him. What the hell was going on with me? I had never in my thirty-two years had a reaction like that to a man. Sure, he was hot. Hotter than hell, actually. And he was good with Tommy. He was a great dad. Was that grounds for my attraction to him? I had no idea, since again, I’d never had these kinds of feelings before, so I couldn't know what caused them. I had heard about them, read about them, but always thought they were made up by brilliant authors who knew what it took to sell lots of books. Now what? Who could I talk to about this?
    Macy was my best friend. She had been almost from my first day here in Cedar Creek when I met her at the town fair. I had still been raw back then so shortly after I had lost everything, but I hadn’t been able to resist her bubbly and over the top personality. It swept me right off my feet. I had never met anyone like her, so confident and sure of herself and her man, I was stunned.
    But could I talk to her about this?
    I guessed I could try. She knew it was hard for me to really open up even to her and she respected that. In the beginning, she had asked about my life, but when I hadn’t given her any details, she had understood and backed off. But she always made sure I knew that no matter what, I could always count on her. I also knew that I had to eventually open up to her. That I needed to give her my complete trust. If I wanted to be her best friend, I needed to tell her everything I had lived through. She deserved to know. I knew it would break her heart, but she had made it more than clear that she would always have my back. I knew I wasn’t quite ready yet, but I also knew I needed to prepare myself for that conversation, steel myself against memories and emotions I had locked away, so they wouldn’t overwhelm me. Maybe if I wasn’t blindsided and accessed them on my terms, I could talk about it without losing it.
    But first I had to talk to Macy about Cal. But being that Macy was a romantic and happily married with three adorable children and one on the way and she loved me, she would want that kind of bliss for me. She would probably tell me that Cal and I were destined to be together, that we were a match made in heaven and would make beautiful babies. But a life like that was never going to be mine. I had given up that dream a long time ago. And once I told her about my past, she would understand why I couldn’t go there, why I needed the safety of distance. Why I couldn’t put myself out there. Why I was so scared.
    Just thinking about telling her my secrets made my stomach seize in dark anticipation. Okay, calm down. It will all be okay . Macy was Macy. Everyone loved her, everyone trusted her. She made people laugh even when they had nothing to laugh about. She was the nicest person and best mother I had ever met. It would be okay. She would understand. Then she would support me. If I couldn’t talk to her about this, then who could I talk to? Sure, I had other friends in town, but nobody else I was that close to. If my grandmother was still alive, she would be the one I’d talk to. There had never been any secrets between us. She had always known about everything that went on in my life and had always tried to support me as best as she could. I missed her. I really, really missed her.
    I felt a lonely tear running down my cheek as I was thinking about my nana. She was the one good person in my family, the only one that had ever tried to protect me, and ultimately the one that made it possible for me to escape my life that had been hell since I could remember. I would be forever grateful to her, even if it took her dying for me to have this chance.
    My nana.
    So sweet, so special.
    She would have clapped and yelled, “That’s right! That’s my girl! You tell her!” had she heard what Betty had said that day in the coffee shop about my light shining so bright it hurt