Before the Dawn Read Online Free PDF Page B

took off his other boot.
    George stood up with slow, aching movements. His feet looked thin and forlorn in his regulation Army socks, his toes curling as if to hide themselves. “I’d like to be alone, please.” He sounded like a little boy.
    “All right.” Alice turned and left quickly, and it took her a moment to realize the sensation flooding her, making her feel dizzy and strangely alive. It was relief.
    She wanted to go to her bedroom, but she knew Katherine waited for her, would even expect her. She never disobeyed even her mother-in-law’s implicit commands.
    Katherine stood in the drawing room, the tea things lying cold and untouched. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.
    “George wanted to be left alone.”
    “And you just left him?”
    “He wanted to be alone.”
    “He said he wanted to be alone,” Katherine corrected, and Alice silently acknowledged this was true.
    “I can’t read his thoughts.”
    “You don’t want to.”
    Alice decided not to say anything.
    Katherine pursed her lips. "It's going to be the most difficult for you, Alice. You've had everything your way before this."
    Alice laughed, and the sound surprised her. “Oh, have I?” she said. “I didn’t realize.”
    “I made a mistake. I should not have left you to yourself.”
    “I’m not a child.”
    “You have acted like one. You have allowed me to treat you as one.”
    “And that is my fault?” Alice demanded.
    “And mine.” Katherine rested one hand lightly on her shoulder.  "You must be cold, in that dress.  Perhaps you should change."
    "If you like."
    "It's not what I like, my dear. It was merely a suggestion." She removed her hand.  "I have spoiled you, Alice, in letting you do as you please. The time for that has past now, I’m afraid.”
    “No doubt it has.”  
    Katherine did not miss the irony, Alice could see that from the small smile that flickered and then vanished. "You don’t think I’ve indulged you. Very well. Still, I can quite imagine what life was like for you, before you came into this household.  Living alone with your father, granted every whim, surrounding by admiring young students... well! It would be enough to turn any girl's head, and then some."
    Alice gazed at the floor. There was enough truth in Katherine’s words for her not to need to respond. "I left my father’s house six years ago,” she said after a moment.
    Katherine was silent; Alice watched the hand on the grandfather clock tick a full two minutes.
    "You must give him time, Alice,” Katherine said. “You must give him your devotion.” She paused, her hands twisted together. “Do you still love him? The truth.”
    Alice gazed at Katherine’s fingers. They were veined, bent, old. When, she wondered, had they become so? When would hers? “I don’t know. I can’t remember. And he’s different now, anyway.”
    “Then you must learn to love him,” Katherine decided. “There’s no other choice, really, is there? At least not one either of you could tolerate.”
    These words seemed so bleak that Alice could only nod. “He needs your love, even if he pretends otherwise. Remember that.”
    Alice nodded again.
    “Why don’t you change for dinner.”
    It was a dismissal, and Alice obeyed.
    She crept up the stairs, to her small bedroom, and saw that all her things were still there. She touched them, ran her hand over the back of her silver brush, and shuddered.
    In the mirror her face was pale, the freckles on her nose standing out in relief, her eyes wide and scared. She made a sound of impatient disgust and turned away. 
    Alice changed her dress and slipped out of the room, skidding to a halt when she saw George, dressed for dinner, coming out of their old bedroom.  He looked so much like his old self, she felt jolted into remembering, into feeling.
    He held his arm out. "Shall we?". There was almost a smile on his face and Alice went forward with a little spurt of joy, linking her arm with his.
    "I can almost