Bedrock Read Online Free PDF Page B

things ran through her mind in that moment: of course,
the how, when, and where, and the what-ifs. But mostly, it was the realization
of what she had known all along: that she loved him. He was the one. She
couldn’t let him go, not again. If she did, it would break her for good. They
would figure it out. They had to.
    “Yes. I’ll marry you.” Addie replied as hot tears spilled out,
stinging her cheeks.

 
     
    Four
    Unlike most brides to be, planning a wedding didn’t
stress Addie one bit. She had hers planned by the time she was six. That year,
her class took a field trip downtown to the Botanical Gardens, and as soon as
Addie stepped foot in the rose garden, she proceeded to let everyone know that
it was where she would get married one day. That very evening she went home and
planned it all out, down to the very last detail. Of course, she would wear
white and her bridesmaids a pale shade of blue. And as it turned out, things didn’t
change so very much between the time she was six and twenty-five.
    In 2003, Addie and Patrick were married on a beautiful spring
afternoon in front of 200 of their closest friends and family. It was
everything that Addie had always dreamed it would be. The roses were in full
bloom. A string quartet played in the background. The reception followed
underneath a big white tent, beneath the willow trees and a bright full moon.
It was stunningly beautiful. The bride and groom and their guests danced into
the wee hours of the morning. As Patrick waltzed Addie across the dance floor,
she smiled and thought to herself: With a wedding as perfect as this, how
could the life together that followed not be just so?
    It was almost two years to the day they married that Addie gave
birth to their first child: a son named Connor. She and Patrick had discussed
Addie going off of the pill and trying for a baby, but it was safe to say that
neither of them expected it to happen so very quickly. Addie was, of course,
more ready than Patrick, who would have preferred a few more years to focus
solely on his career. But when Addie wanted something, she was persistent, and
Patrick enjoyed the practice.
    It was also safe to say that they were both wholly unprepared for
the drastic changes that becoming parents would bring to their lives. Addie had
planned on continuing her career after the baby arrived, and for the first six
months, she did just that.
    Unfortunately, her plan didn’t last long. Connor was a colicky
baby who cried constantly. Those days, there was very little sleep going on in
their house. Addie found herself pacing the halls with Connor at all hours of
the night while he screamed and screamed. There were endless doctor
appointments followed by visits to various specialists, who all seemed to
confirm what the last had said. Connor was perfectly healthy.
    There were numerous calls to Jessica during that time, which
Addie was certain kept her sane.
    “They say he’s fine. The doctors . . . I just don’t get it,
Jessica. They’re freaking doctors, and they can’t give me an answer. They just
tell us he’s fine and that he’ll grow out of it. Maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m doing
something wrong.”
    Jessica sighed. “Honey, it’s not you. If the doctors say he’s
fine, then believe them. It’s not you. You’re a great mother. Anyone can see
that. Connor is fine. Some babies just cry more often than others. He is your
son after all. Remember how much you cried in college? Every twenty eight days
or so.”
    Addie laughed. “I didn’t cry that often.”
    “Well, you certainly cried more than I did, and that’s saying
something.”
    Addie felt lucky that she could call Jessica and Jessica would
talk her down, but it was during the hellishly long nights that Addie felt the
walls closing in on her. She began to understand how parents could physically
harm their child. For two people who were so used to being in control of their
lives, it was a helpless feeling. And where there had been so