bedeviled & beyond 06.5 - bedeviled & bah humbug Read Online Free PDF Page B

last nerve. Astra !
    I grimaced. Darma. What’s up?
    I’m  trying to find a Christmas gift for father. I can’t think of anything he needs. If he wants anything he just thinks it up and it’s there. It’s impossible. I thought you were going to help me this year.
    I frowned. Trust me, Darma, I’d love to be there helping you but I’m stuck in Hell.
    You’re such a drama queen, Astra. Just pop over to the mall and help me with this gift or I swear I’m gonna haunt your every waking moment.
    Perhaps you’ve heard of Hell? Large place, really hot, clings to its inhabitants like a Diva clings to her mirror?
    Very funny! Can’t you just pop out of there for an hour or so? Those people are damned for all eternity...they have bigger problems and won’t even miss your annoying presence.
    Bigger problems, Darma? You mean like making sure they’re covered head to toe with two thousand plus sun block?
    Yeah. Like that.
    I sighed, swiping my sleeve over the sheen of sweat on my face. I tried to pop out. It didn’t work. My popping privileges have apparently been revoked.
    Well thanks for nothing, Astra.
    She disappeared from my poor mind in a wash of anger. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Only my incredibly bitchy and selfish sister could be mad at me because I was trapped in Hell at Christmas.
    Mother halfling.
    I couldn’t believe it. How could she be so unbelievably selfish?
    Mother halfling.
    The nerve...the amazing, mind bending, unparalleled, gall...
    Mother halfling!
    My eyes flew open. What !
    Look down there. Is that an...elf?
    ~SC~
    The elf was sitting on a three legged stool in the mouth of a cave, surrounded by snow. A small fire crackled happily before him and he appeared to be perusing the longest scroll I’d ever seen. It was piled in loose waves on his lap and wound around his stool and over the snow, disappearing finally into the cave at the elf’s back. As could be expected, he was dressed in green tights and a green tunic and wearing a red pointed hat, wide red belt, and red shoes with curling toes.
    His upturned nose and cheeks were red too.
    As Glynus and I approached, the little creature stood and turned his rosy face upward, watching us with placid interest. Glynus skidded to a sloppy stop in the deep snow squealing with delight as the heavy, wet stuff spun upward in a cold cloud, dousing us both.
    I grinned, thoroughly enjoying my first cool moment since I’d been dumped in Hell.
    Glynus lowered her head and I slid off her back, toward the ground. As I turned, something smacked me in the face, hard. The icy snowball was quickly followed up by several more, most of which pinged harmlessly off Glynus, missing me entirely.
    The sound of giggling coming from the jolly little creature throwing snow balls at me was at least as out of place there as the snowballs had been. I didn’t know what kind of magic the elf was using, but it was powerful stuff if it could create and keep snow in Hell.
    I decided to enjoy the moment, since it would most likely be short-lived. I crouched down and quickly formed a snowball, flinging it toward the little elf just before he let loose another icy missile.
    The snowball bounced harmlessly off the rock at the edge of the cave’s entrance behind him. The elf had space-shifted a few feet to the side before it hit.
    Smack! Another icy ball exploded on my chest.
    I laughed and used my power to form and throw more balls, actually managing to hit the tricky little elf more than once. Finally, in a moment of sheer frustration from having missed the little twerp several times in a row, I used my powers to shift behind him.
    As he blinked and started to turn, I smashed a huge snowball into his rosy little face. We both dissolved into laughter and called a truce.
    I dropped into the snow and lifted my cold feet toward the fire. The elf sat back down on his stool, picking up his scroll.  “So...what’s an elf doing in Hell?”
    He spared me a