Because of You Read Online Free PDF

grass growing on my teeth and tongue, but it’s nothing a shower and some toothpaste won’t fix. “I’ll try to keep it down.”
    Today is the first day of classes. I feel like I should remind her about going. But she seems so broken. I can’t bring myself to speak the words.
    I quietly pick up my towel and bathroom necessities, pulling on a pair of fluffy pink slippers. I grab my keycard and open the door.
    As I’m leaving, Gina whispers, “Thanks, Maddie.”
    She didn’t call me Maddelena. “You’re welcome.”
    There’s only one other person in the bathroom. She gives me a curt smile, takes her stuff, and walks out. The black and white checkered floor is wet. Most of the shower stalls are dripping water. I step inside one, close the bright white curtain, and set my stuff on the ledge. Then I pull off my slippers, hang my shirt on a hook, and turn on the water.
    Icy liquid sprays my body. I quickly adjust the faucet, wondering who would be crazy enough to shower in cold water. Within seconds the water warms and my body relaxes.
    I wet my hair and squirt shampoo into my hand, then massage it into my scalp. As I’m rinsing, I close my eyes. And Kyle is there, as though he’s been waiting. His smile, the one he gave me last night, lights his face, turns my knees to jelly.
    I shudder, and my thighs seem to light on fire.
    From the way he acted last night, the promise he made to save himself for me hasn’t been honored. I try to ignore the way my heart beats when I think about him. If I’m honest with myself, I hoped he’d be here. Despite everything his father did, I’ve missed him.
    After showering, I scour my teeth, paying close attention to my tongue. I dress in jeans, ballet flats, and a black tee. I brush my hair into a ponytail and swipe gloss over my dry lips.
    There are dark circles under my eyes. I put on some concealer and brush on a little mascara. My normally caramel eyes are flecked with green. Sometimes, depending on my mood, they get darker. Today, they’re almost almond in color. I know why.
Kyle
. It isn’t only my encounter with him last night. It’s more than that. It’s the feelings I’ve worked so hard to bury. I’m of two minds. I want to know him again. I want to be his friend, and more. But I shouldn’t. His father is evil.
    My aunt’s words repeat like a broken record in my thoughts:
“bad men raise bad kids.”
Is he here because of his father? Is he out to get me? I used to hear my aunt and uncle whisper about Chief Hadley, especially when I was younger. They worried he would come after me, and try to silence me. Because I know what I saw, and he knows what he did. But in seven years, I haven’t heard a word from him. Kyle quit trying to contact me after six months.
    And it was for the best. It’s still the right thing.
    Remember your latest promise
, I tell myself, lifting my shirt, touching the iris tattoo.
    Faith
. In others, and most especially in myself.
    But it’s hard. My eyes fall on the kanji symbol. The tattoo I got when I was in a dark place emotionally.
    Hate
.
    Over the last year I worked hard to push the emotion out. I believed myself calmer. But seeing Kyle has brought back all the hate for his father. It eats at my insides. I won’t ever stop hating him. Not until justice is served. Not until I see him pay for what he did.
    Kyle is the son of a murderer. It’s better if I avoid him. I take a deep breath. At least he didn’t seem to recognize me.
    Didn’t he
? I wonder, recalling the way his eyes flickered.
    I push that thought away, letting go of my shirt and pulling at a tendril of hair on either side of my face. I give my reflection another once-over and put away my makeup. No sense dwelling on it, on him. It won’t do any good since I’ve promised myself I won’t speak to him again.
    I’ll attend my classes, and spend my free time practicing.
    Avoid.
    Avoid.
    Avoid.
    Right
, I think, trying to convince myself to be brave.
    Finished, I sneak into